tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69967683800882165032024-03-14T02:12:36.054-05:00ROBSESSEDRobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-35202779226664060792013-03-26T07:41:00.001-05:002013-03-26T08:53:36.162-05:00Meet Me in the Megabus to St. Louis: There's a Story There<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm not one to pass on a good bargain. So when I discovered I could get to St. Louis, Missouri for my friend Jason's 30th celebratory birthday weekend for the price of a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, how could I refuse? My primary concern was that it would be a 13-hour ride on Megbabus. But again, two bucks is two bucks and I was comforted in knowing that if it did turn out to be hell on wheels then at least I had 4 friends along for the ride to co-wallow in my misery.<br />
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The day I was all set to being the journey North did not start well. And by not start well, I mean I woke up just in time to throw up everything I had consumed the night before for dinner/bedtime snack. It was horrible and I'll never look at Fig Newtons the same way again. Kinda the same way I look at maple bars. As a kid they were my favorite treat, until one day I blew chunks after eating one and I've never had the stomach to indulge in one again. Some wounds just never heal. The remainder of the afternoon was spent worshiping the porcelain goddess/suffering from cold sweats/fantasizing about finally reaching my goal weight. After nibbling on saltines and small gulps of blue Gatorade all day I mustered enough energy to board the Megabus because God as my witness I was not about to let an upset stomach stop me from have having a gay ol' time in the 3rd most dangerous city in America! Spring Break with pepper spray wahoo!!!!<br />
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The fellow travelers on the Megabus were about what I expected. Young. Smelly. Loud. Annoying. Poor Bart got stuck sitting next to a girl who assured him within seconds of meeting that she wasn't a creeper. Her high pitched and constant laugh that resembled that of a baby sheep failed to back up her claim. My concern the whole time was that I didn't want to throw up on the bus. Luckily some other guy beat me to it but unfortunately the sorority sister sitting next to him on her way to spring break ended up in an unplanned wet t-shirt contest at 3 in the morning. All 6 of us had boarded the bus at 7:45 PM in Dallas and 13 hours and half a bottle of melatonin later we arrived in St. Louis, AKA Nelly's hometown.<br />
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The next three days of middle America shenanigans proved to be chicken noodle soup for this weary Texas soul, dontcha know!? Few of us had ever spent time in the city so there were plenty of new sights and sounds to be seen. The architecture of the city was pretty cool with lots of old brick buildings and enormous catholic churches that looked like they had been helicoptered in from Europe. We took a free visit to the local zoo where we saw elephants, monkeys, and shitting penguins, oh my! Nearby we did a drive by of the 1904 World Fair Pavilion, which was surprisingly much smaller than it appeared in "Meet Me in St. Louis". But of course that didn't
stop Bart and myself from bursting into a rousing rendition of Clank Clank Went
the Trolley, Ding Ding Went the Bell!! We nailed it, and I'd like to think we done Judy
Garland proud.<br />
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For Jason's birthday dinner we met up with his rather large family (his grandmother birthed ten babies) in one of my favorite chain restaurants ever. The Old Spaghetti Factory. There I got my first chance to try the St. Louis delicacy known as a toasted ravioli. Top that off with spumoni ice cream and bottomless strawberry lemonade and this guy who hadn't had a full meal in two days felt like Jesus must have felt having his first hot pocket after 40 days in the desert. Another delight and life fulfilling dream was sneaking into the restaurant's cable car with Kristin and pretending to be on a first date as we giggled and contemplated eating the leftovers from the couple who'd been sitting there. It took all the strength within me to resist finishing off the melted spumoni. After dinner we went to Three Sixty, one of the city's trendiest rooftop bars, where we were able to convince management that our friend Andrew was Zachary Quinto. The similarities really are uncanny, especially when he's wearing my glasses. Sadly it proved pointless because we still weren't able to get a table let alone a bottle of champagne even though he offered to sign autographs. Clearly none of the bartenders were Trekkie's.<br />
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Our final hours in the city were spent wining and dining on Bloody Marys, biscuits and gravy, and bowls of maple syrup while our elderly waitress Beverly took a smoke break every two minutes and talked to us about watching the arch being built. She really dated herself with that statement. Afterwards we did the most touristy thing possible, which I am always down for on a trip, and went up into the city's infamous arch that has been coined "The Gateway to the West". It's something I've always wanted to do but I can't say it was exactly what I was expecting. Although you are able to get a nice view of the city there was no open-air deck, no gift shop, and the pod you had to ride to get to the reminded me of something off the show LOST. And word to the wise, if you suffer from any form of claustrophobia I suggest doing as my mom does at all amusement parks which is find a nice bench, hold everybody's jacket, and wait for your family to get off ride.<br />
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P.S. A special thanks goes out to Kristin for her St. Louis hospitality in letting 4 boys invade her lovely little apartment for the weekend. You're a treasure and a saint!!! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09295367183728228084noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-85114071705270999552013-02-11T10:03:00.002-06:002013-02-11T10:45:47.965-06:00#Grammys2013<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
Over the past few years The Grammys have weaseled their way into my affections and become my favorite awards show of the entire year. Last nights show proved to be an interesting one since there weren't any artists who completely swept up all Grammys like my beloved Adele and Beyonce have done in the past two years. It was generous of them to spread the wealth because clearly there are lots of worthy musicians who deserve to be awarded for their musical efforts. Music is something that's always been a special part of my life and whether I'm hitting the stair monster, getting ready for a night out, or sitting at my desk working I almost always have music playing. These days I don't have as much time and money to keep up on movies but luckily my 10 dollar a month Spotify account keeps me up to date on what the whipper snappers are listening to on the radio. <br />
<br />
Last night I debated doing an intensive live Twitter feed of the nights big moments but then I remembered that I only have 22 followers and half of them are probably robots so it would have been pointless. Although big shout out to Tamara for throwing me a few favorites and re-tweets. Love you boo boo! Thanks for making me feel a little less alone in the Twitter-sphere.<br />
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So the following is what would have been my hypothetical twitter feed if I was in fact twitter-famous....<br />
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Taylor “Uncle Sam” Swift. You realize you are no longer able to
call yourself a country artist, right? Also, “ I’m sorry but I’m busy opening
up the Grammy’s” might me the best “stick this in your pipe and smoke it” line
I’ve ever heard #suckitharrystyles</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-243Ue_Js19w/URkVpbxfPGI/AAAAAAAAAG8/6OqvQVVWOuk/s1600/adele-best-pop-solo-performance-grammys-2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-243Ue_Js19w/URkVpbxfPGI/AAAAAAAAAG8/6OqvQVVWOuk/s320/adele-best-pop-solo-performance-grammys-2013.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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ADELE”S HERE! SHE’S HERE!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ed Sheeran. I have the biggest friend crush on you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I begin my music career would you be so
kind as to pen a few ditties for me? #thanksboo #littlethings2.0<o:p></o:p></div>
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Elton John. I don’t really like it when you sing Ed’s songs.
There’s not enough room on that tiny, circular stage for two gingers and while
you could sing “Candle In The Wind’ all day long without a complaint from me,
I’m really not feeling your take on the “A Team”. #sorryi’mnotsorry<o:p></o:p></div>
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Testicular Cancer/Valentines Day commercial. Really? Really?? I thought you
were going to be just another K-Y commercial. You sure showed me. #livestrong<o:p></o:p></div>
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Katy Perry. You was robbed!!! Not by Adele because she
actually deserved the best Pop Performance Grammy but aside from making my most listened to song of 2012, Wide Awake should have won an award for something!<br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Adele looks like she's</span> wearing a couch cushion from an old
ladies house which makes me love her more than I thought was humanly possible.<o:p></o:p><br />
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John Mayer. Your suit is glowing. Where can I get me one of
those!?!?!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Miranda Lambert. Step away from the Bedazzler before you lose an eyelid.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Carrie Underwood. Everybody gives a shout out to God when
they win a Grammy. But I actually believed you. #onwardchristiansoldier #thislittlelightofmine<o:p></o:p></div>
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Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. You give me hope! And when did ya'll get so skinny!? #trimspababy<o:p></o:p></div>
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Fun. You’re leading me to believe that man-capris are coming back in style.
Can you give me a firm confirmation that I can pull them off before I have all
my current pants tailored?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0BiUCbQXcBs/URkWRqMZKNI/AAAAAAAAAHU/Ep9MvfylreA/s1600/gty_justin_timberlake_grammys_performance_lpl_130210_wblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0BiUCbQXcBs/URkWRqMZKNI/AAAAAAAAAHU/Ep9MvfylreA/s320/gty_justin_timberlake_grammys_performance_lpl_130210_wblog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Justin Timberlake. I’ve got a bone to pick with you. “Futuresex/Lovesounds”
was flawless. FLAWLESS And since you dropped it in like 2007, I’ve waited patiently
for 6 long years for you to drop a new single. I’m gonna be honest. Suit and Tie
is not what I waited for all these years. But I have faith the rest of your album is going
to make me a very happy man. #notimpressed #bringsexyback<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kelly Rowland. Did you not get the email from CBS? You know,
the one about not wearing revealing outfits? Check your spam box. #iknowyougotit<o:p></o:p></div>
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What does Urban Contemporary even mean? All I know is I’m so
glad that Frank Ocean won, even though your
acceptance speech was awkward.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Adam Levine. You sound amazing on your albums. And if there
was someone who’s recording voice I wish I had it would be you. But then you go
and sing live and…..well…..it’s a good thing you’re pretty.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I pity the person who got stuck sitting behind Solange’s Afro.
Seriously, most obstructed view in the house thanks in part to the fact that
Gaga was a not in attendance.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I fucking love Kelly Clarkson. She is so genuine. So
talented. Clearly surprised as we all were about winning, even though she clearly deserved it. #stronger<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rihanna. Spill. What did you cut out of your diet to get
that body because seriously, I have a high school reunion coming up and I need
to know. Also, you killed that performance. #thatRihannarainjustwon’tletup #stay<o:p></o:p></div>
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Love Frank Ocean. And love that he’s basically wearing the
same outfit I wore when I gave a presentation on the Civil War in 5<sup>th</sup>
grade. #A+<o:p></o:p></div>
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How is CBS still America’s most watched network?? Touched by an
Angel Dr. Quin Medicine Woman has been off the air for over a decade!? America. Just
tape The Big Bang Theory for once, for crying out loud! #tinafey #damnu2andahalfmen<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jack White. Get in touch with the person who does beyonce’s
weaves. You can do better. You deserve better. #itgetsbetter<o:p></o:p></div>
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Best quote of the night goes to Katy Perry when presenting
Best New Artist. <span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">"If
you don't win, don't worry. I was never even nominated in this category and I
have my own eyelash line,".<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Fun. If you’re saying you’ve been doing this for 12 years
then how the hell did you just win the best new artist award? #confused
#idemandarecount<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Why did none of my prom dates ever have Carrie Underwood’s
light up dress?? #regrets <o:p></o:p></div>
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Gotye and his lady friend winning Record of the Year and
getting all sorts of choked up when getting the Grammy handed to them from Prince was touching #I’mfeelingverklempt<o:p></o:p></div>
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Alabama shakes lady seriously looked like she took a time
machine from the 1930’s to get to the Grammy’s and I love her for it. #vintage
#oldsoul<o:p></o:p></div>
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Frank Ocean. Best entrance and exit of the night.
#youcandonowrong #forestgump #seamless<o:p></o:p></div>
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What did Mumford and Sons say that was censored?? And am I
the only person who didn’t know they were British? #so2000andlate<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09295367183728228084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-34104464744487814932013-02-04T22:53:00.003-06:002013-02-09T17:25:22.146-06:00Beyoncé Bowl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HIG-mlCNHeM/URCNM_h_QWI/AAAAAAAAAFA/cwetGMijHp8/s1600/beyoncepicture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HIG-mlCNHeM/URCNM_h_QWI/AAAAAAAAAFA/cwetGMijHp8/s320/beyoncepicture.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
It pretty much goes without saying that I'm not much of a sports guy. Lord knows the last time these baby hands of mine tried to unsuccessfully grip, let alone throw, a football. Truth be told I begged my parents before starting my Freshman year of high school to let all 105 pounds me try out for the football team. Like everyone else, I was a delusional adolescent with big dreams of being popular and having ripped abs. Clearly it wasn't meant to be. George and Cathy quickly shut down that teenage dream with a big fat "NO" which quite honestly probably saved my life. Since then I've shown little to no interest in the sport. Truthfully I had no idea which two teams were even playing in the Super Bowl this year until Alicia Keyes finished her 20 minute rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. How she took a song that my highschool choir could finish in 30 seconds flat and turned it into the length of a Laguna Beach episode is still blowing my mind.<br />
<br />
Clearly the one and only reason I tuned in for this years game was for the much hyped halftime show. Or as it has been labeled, the Beyonce Bowl. The past years shows have been hit and miss with a lot of miss. Sure Madonna's was awesome and maybe the best ever, but it came after years of some pretty boring shows. Anybody else remember the less than rousing performance by Tom Petty and the Heart Breakers? More like Tom Petty and the Heart Pacers but that's neither her nor there. All I know is whoever his caretaker is should be ashamed of themselves for letting him up on the stage without a walker and oxygen tank. The man was clearly strugglin'.<br />
<br />
Beyonce Bowl started off strong. Great entrance. Fierce pose. You really can't go wrong with a burning silhouette of yourself off in the distance as you rise from the darkness. Loved the lace and leather outfit which left little to no chance of a repeat incident known as Nipplegate, although I'm sure One Million Moms gave a collective shriek when she whipped off the leather jacket. Please. Give Beyonce a little credit. You know she probably used the equivalent amount of double sided tape that JLO has consumed in her lifetime just for that one outfit. Haters to the left to the left.<br />
<br />
After loads of dancing, hair-flipping, and vocal runs (just to make sure the people at home knew she was singing live) came the big moment. The Destiny's Child Reunion. Even though I was never a huge DC fan I got a little giddy seeing them together again. My first thought was one of concern for Michelle Williams who as we all know has had problems with hand eye coordination in the past. Exhibit A:<br />
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<br />
As seen above, it's every woman for herself in Destiny's Child so it's a good thing Michelle was able to oh so shakily land on her feet after being thrown on the stage for her entrance. My focus then shifted back to the woman of the hour who for some unknown reason looked pissed beyond all get out.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X1kNalB522Y/URCNmHX05lI/AAAAAAAAAFI/gtpvckSZG4U/s1600/angrybeyonce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X1kNalB522Y/URCNmHX05lI/AAAAAAAAAFI/gtpvckSZG4U/s1600/angrybeyonce.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
My theory is she was jealous of how great Kelly's bangs looked. What I say to that is "Gurl. You just got paid enough by Pepsi alone to end AIDS, cancer, and world hunger within 24 hours. Why you mad???!!!" If anybody had any right to be mad it should have been Kelly and Michelle. On top of getting thrown on stage by a linebacker out of a hole in the floor, their mics were obviously turned down to at least 30% volume. That's show biz kids.<br />
<br />
I'm not convinced that the show topped last years halftime extravaganza and I think the ending could have used a little more oomph and girl power than "Halo" offered but it was worth the two hour wait just for those 10 minutes of pure pop bliss. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if JT had come out for a quick duet of "Till the End of Time". Had this dream become a reality I would have lost my shit. So it's probably for the best it didn't happen.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09295367183728228084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-45299202129452805802012-12-14T13:24:00.000-06:002012-12-14T13:24:21.205-06:00Happy Birthday Skip!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Today my dear friend Skip turned 30 freakin years old. In celebration of this momentous day, Robbie and I whipped together a little video to show how much we lurve him. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09295367183728228084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-3467860028814930522012-09-04T09:41:00.003-05:002012-09-04T10:27:48.842-05:00My First Year in Dallas<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Howdy! Hope ya’ll had a very happy Labor Day! This is my
second Labor Day Weekend in Dallas, which means I’ve officially made it a year
in Texas! Still a little shocked I survived this long, especially with the ever
looming fear of contracting West Nile from the pesky, murderous mosquitoes
you’ve probably seen on the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
kind of turned into a problem and I’ve taken extra precautions this summer by wearing
nothing but turtlenecks, cargo pants, and mosquito nets fashioned into a Burka
for when I go on my evening runs. I don’t mess around. I mean people are dying
and I’d like to think my immune system is stronger than that of a 95-year-old
man but let’s be real, we all have our off days.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Despite the fact that this recent holiday usually implies
that people should take a break from working I have done quite the opposite.
This weekend was moving time so I have had my hands full convincing strangers
on Craigslist that they should buy my cheap Ikea furniture, boxing up my
belongings, and spraying 409 on everything in sight. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am pretty excited about my new place because
not only do I finally have access to a pool and exercise facility, but for the
first time ever I have a washer and dryer that doesn’t require quarters to
start a cycle ! It really is the little things in life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UwTQYc767Vg/UEYTCnilxZI/AAAAAAAAAEY/0KVNm5FDQq0/s1600/IMG_4380.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UwTQYc767Vg/UEYTCnilxZI/AAAAAAAAAEY/0KVNm5FDQq0/s320/IMG_4380.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<o:p> </o:p>Looking back this has been quite the year in Texas. I really
don’t think I had very high expectations when I moved south last July with my
friend Robbie (also known as Vobbie when I talk in my second language of Svedish)
but I must say Dallas has had it’s unexpected surprises and it’s provided me
with a host of new opportunities and experiences. Some of the top highlights
would have to be:</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I finally got my first job as a Graphic Designer,
which alone made the move worth it. At age 26 I was really starting to stress
about how this whole career thing was going to get started but I feel like I’ve
learned a lot this year and that I’m finally catching my stride as a designer.</div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I ran my first <a href="http://robsesser.blogspot.com/2011/12/white-rock-marathon.html">marathon</a>!</div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>After years of devoted television watching I
finally met the talented, beautiful and New York Times best selling author
Lauren Conrad. I’m talking about LC of Laguna Beach and The Hills and yes,
meeting her was definitely on my “unwritten” bucket list. Where my fascination
and love with her stems from I’ll never know. What I do know is I don’t think
I’ve ever been more nervous in my life than during the meet and greet at Barnes
and Noble to promote her new book “The Fame Game”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I swear every teenage girl in the Dallas/Fort
Worth area was there and I was a one out of five guys, three of which were
boyfriends who were simply there to document the whole thing. Luckily I had my
office BFF Marlee to provide moral support, take pictures, and she may have
packed a few smelling salts in the likelihood that I passed out in front of
Lauren. Fortunately I kept it together despite the fact that girls were
literally in tears at the thought of talking to her and I was being asked
questions such as “what are you going to say to her!?!?!” or “will it be weird
if I tell her she’s perfect, because I think she is!?!?” When my turn came to
approach the book signing table I literally had an out of body experience. I
completely forgot my monologue that I had rehearsed and I had such bad cotton
mouth that I could barely squeak out a hello. Even though things didn’t go as
planned and I was reduced to acting like every other school girl in the room,
Lauren was the sweetest and hopefully at the next signing I’ll be able to keep
more cool, calm, and collected. </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LuqMriEQnmA/UEYR3I7ucAI/AAAAAAAAAEI/dbWX5_oHjSE/s1600/IMG_0745.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LuqMriEQnmA/UEYR3I7ucAI/AAAAAAAAAEI/dbWX5_oHjSE/s320/IMG_0745.JPG" width="239" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WoB6WkyRn7g/UEYR5qHwCwI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/Jq3NWeCcy9c/s1600/IMG_0744.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WoB6WkyRn7g/UEYR5qHwCwI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/Jq3NWeCcy9c/s320/IMG_0744.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I joined my first softball league! My friends
Bart and Jason somehow convinced Robbie and I to join their team, Taddy’s
Terriers, despite the fact that all games were held on Sunday morning, which
can be a bit rough for an A-List socialite like myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that I was worried at all about my talent
because I used to be a pretty big deal in the Walla Walla Valley Farm League.
Granted it was over 15 years ago but age is just a number. After my coach made
the mistake of thinking I was cut out for the outfield he put me on 2<sup>nd</sup>
base for the remainder of the season and I must say it was a much better fit.
Turns out my hand eye coordination with fly balls ain’t what it was in 3<sup>rd</sup>
grade. But the end of the season I was voted the distinguished and sought after
title of Most Improved. By now I’m used to accolades and critics choice awards
and obviously I saw myself more as the Team MVP but beggars can’t be choosers.
Robbie got Best Defensive and although you can’t count on him to throw a ball
to first and have it be in the general vicinity of the 1<sup>st</sup> baseman
he sure knows how to hit a home run.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xGSemf8THrI/UEYRsnOOsNI/AAAAAAAAAEA/v4CIGA7Mk7A/s1600/IMG_0517.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xGSemf8THrI/UEYRsnOOsNI/AAAAAAAAAEA/v4CIGA7Mk7A/s320/IMG_0517.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I survived my first <a href="http://robsesser.blogspot.com/2012/04/its-twister.html">twister</a>!</div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>I’m fairly certain I’m on a reality show and no
one told me/failed to have me sign a consent form. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Literally everywhere I turn I see a cast
member from<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A-List Dallas and Dallas
Most Eligible. The person I see the most is Matt Nordgren from Most Eligible
and I’ve run into him buying jeans at the gap, watching a charity fashion show,
and most recently at a Tuesday night worship service for young professionals.
We of course haven’t talked but I assume it’s because the producers are trying
to start of feud between us. Last week I went for a run on Katy Trail and ran
by Glenn Pakulak from Most Eligible and I debated talking to him about the
whole thing but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t mic’d<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>and there didn’t seem to be any cameras in sight so I didn’t see the
point of having the conversation. Bravo recently confirmed that Courtney is
going to have her own show soon and I’m expecting a letter from producers
begging me to be her sassy male friend. I”ll consider it, but I may need to
call LC to get her blessing before making any final decisions.</div>
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But most of all, thank you to all the wonderful folks I've met during my year here. It wouldn't have been half as fun with you :)</div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09295367183728228084noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-40129582568936250282012-07-15T14:00:00.001-05:002012-08-21T23:57:41.511-05:00Katy Perry: Part of Me<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JXevEsbvUwo/UAL_4Vujx9I/AAAAAAAAALI/qzut3LZEyGo/s1600/Katy-Perry-Part-Of-Me-3D-Movie-Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JXevEsbvUwo/UAL_4Vujx9I/AAAAAAAAALI/qzut3LZEyGo/s400/Katy-Perry-Part-Of-Me-3D-Movie-Poster.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
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Today I had a "me party". An entire day where I was free from work
and social obligations and got to do whatever the hell I wanted. Well…for the
most part. I’d been needing some
introvert time and seeing as the roommate was peacin’ out for the weekend I decided
to take full advantage of my Saturday. <o:p></o:p></div>
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First off I stopped by my local library and got a card. I
really should have done this long ago because I could have been saving a small
fortune from the money NOT spent on Redbox and iTunes downloads. I was a little
bummed because my main goal of going to the library was to come out with some
Dusty Springfield music, who has become my recent pop obsession, and the book “Perks of Being a Wallflower.” My tiny neighborhood
library had neither but they are being ordered and should be here soon. I can
hardly wait. I did come out with the Joni Mitchel album Blue so it was not a
total bust.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After that I was itching for a good ol’ thrift store run.
The two years prior to moving to Dallas I went through an unhealthy addiction
to thrift stores. While I was in AmeriCorps I am fairly certain I visited every
salvation army between Michigan and Louisiana. Damn I had some good finds back
then. I really just love the challenge of looking through tons of shit to find
an inexpensive diamond in the rough, be it vintage t-shirt or fun vinyl from the 60’s. Today
I went to a St. Vincet de Paul and I can’t say that I was that thrilled by the
selection I saw there but I did find a great framed daisy cross hatch from the
70’s that’s gonna go great with my duvet cover and strangely the green frame
matches my dresser perfectly. And all home décor was 30% off so I spent a total
of 2 bucks. Hollerback girl. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I decided I needed to take some time out of my day to be
productive so I ended up going to work and doing stuff that we graphic
designers do. I won’t bore you with the details but it ended up being time well
spent. As a reward to myself for being diligent and productive on a weekend I
decided it was time to see me some Katy Perry: Part of Me in 3D. And
considering the fact that my newfound friend Matt Jarrell is the only person
I’ve met who was equally excited about seeing the movie as I was, I figured I was best off seeing it
alone. Plus, I kind of have a weird thing where I really enjoy seeing a movie
alone in theatres despite being told by most people that it is awkward and a form of social suicide. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Ever since “I Kissed a Girl” was the free iTunes song of the
week I’ve been a big fan of Katy Perry. I’ll admit, I assumed that she was
going to be just another one hit wonder but she has certainly proved me and a
lot of people wrong. Since 2008 I have bought both her cd’s, seen her in
concert, lost sleep on nights before one of her music video’s premiere’s on
Vevo, and learned how to play “Thinking
of You” on my guitar. You can see now why I was super pumped for the
documentary to hit theatres. Sadly I don’t think it’s been as much of a success
as people were thinking it would be. I can verify this because for the first half
hour I was the only living soul in the theatre….which was kinda great/awkward
all at the same time. But I am here to say that the film is good and worth the
10 bucks! The thing that really comes across in new movie and the thing I
appreciate most about Katy is she’s very different from a lot of other pop
singers out there these days because she kind of seems like the only normal
one. Gaga? Anything but normal. Britney? Heavily medicated. Christina? Diva.
Rhianna? Hot Mess. The main premise of
Part of Me was to show the kind of work that goes into making a world tour and to show
what it took for her to get to this point in her career. It as pretty crazy to
see how far she’s come. I know when I saw her in concert back in 2009 it was at
a small venue in Seattle where I think she had two costume changes at the most
and played all her songs on guitar. It was awesome by the way but these days
her shows are played out in huge arenas with extravagant sets, costume
changes, and cannons of whipped cream. </div>
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One thing that is really interesting about Katy’s life is the fact
that she was raised Pentecostal in a
very conservative Christian home. I can totally relate. Not the Pentacostal part because
I would say we leaned more Baptist but there were things she would say that totally resonated with my upbringing.
Luckily for me I was still permitted to watch “The Smurfs” and eat my Aunt Carol's “Deviled Eggs”, although I wasn't allowed to browse through my latest issue of National Geographic until my parents had torn out the pictures of naked tribal women...let me tell ya it made reading articles about Aborigines in the Outback very confusing and challenging. Another thing Katy and I were both limited to was listening only to only Christian music. Now don't get me wrong, I loved me some DcTalk and Michael W. Smith but a little Michael Jackson or Madonna here and there would have been a nice change of pace. One time in 5th grade my friend Tim came over and brought a Limp Bizkit cd with him and he insisted we should listen to it. Right away I was intrigued because the cover had a sticker that said Parental Warning. I had no idea what that meant but I knew it couldn't be good. Pretty sure I locked my bedroom door, popped the cd into my boom box, and played it just loud enough so we could barely make out the lyrics because I was worried Mama Sesser would barge in with a fresh plate of cookies at any second...to this day I've never felt so rebellious/terrified in my entire life. Obviously
Katy has taken aspects of her life in a different direction than the one it seems her
parents had in mind. That’s something I can also relate to and it was great to see that despite differing
opinions, at the end of the day her parents are still very supportive and
loving of their their little girl.</div>
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Going into it, I knew Katy Perry: Part of Me wasn’t going to
measure up to the masterpiece that is
“Britney: For the Record” but it was still very well done and fun to watch. I
would say that having this sort of film made was a bit premature. Mainly
because her career took off hardly 4 years ago and she only has two albums.
That and there really hasn’t been that much tabloid drama in her life aside from
her recent divorce which is what a majority of Americans hope to see in these sorts of things. Still I think it shows the importance of having dreams and working your butt off to achieve them. It also showed just how much talent Katy does posses as an actress, songwriter, and singer. So if you missed her California Dreams Tour and are wanting a taste
of the Candyland empire she’s built and the road she took to get there, you
won’t be disappointed.</div>
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Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-23299993704184512572012-05-12T10:05:00.001-05:002012-05-12T12:50:42.836-05:00Rob, Heather, and Jess take Manhattan<br />
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This is a sad, sad, day in my life. My
East Coast vacation has come to a close. Too soon. Far too soon! It was a
glorious 4 day adventure that I got to spend with two of my all-time favorite
travel companions – Jess Miller and Heather Swanson. We’ve shared many a West Coast excursion together, including our Idaho Chrismtas Holiday of 2005, the
Disneyland Roadtrip in 2006 and the
great Sisters, Oregon adventure of 2008. After a four-year hiatus, we figured it was
time to spread our wings and take a jab at the east side of the country. Jess
has been living in Hartford, Connecticut for the past 3 years and now that she
is one month away from returning to her Pacific Northwest roots, Heather and I figured it
was time to make the journey.</div>
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I touched down in Hartford early Thursday afternoon and we
filled the day with the best that Hartford had to offer. Jess and Heather had
been busy filling their time as they waited for my arrival by frequenting nearby
museums where they would enter and chat it up with old men who claimed to be besties with Igor Sikorsky...you know? The guy who invented the helicopter?? Don't worry, I'd never heard of him either. Jess and Heather never made it very far into the museums however, because they weren't willing to pay money for a chance to view an assortment of old radios at the "Vintage Radio and Communications Museum" that Jess claimed looked like they had been dumped off by an old man who had cleaned out his attic. I had never been to
Connecticut so I was chomping at the bit to learn more about the local history
of the area. The biggest surprise came when one of Jess’s coworkers informed us
that Hartford was the home of Mark Twain and that we could take a tour of his old bachelor pad!
This was news to Jess but I wasn’t that surprised, seeing as she only frequents
places that have the word Cupcake, Whole Foods, and American Girl plastered on the outside of
the building. As fast as you could say Samuel Clemens, we were all piled into her car with Justin Bieber's smash hit "Boyfriend" cranked up full blast and on our way to see to see the crown jewel of Hartford tourism. We were only a mile down the road when I happened to glance out the window to my right
only to see an old tattered, white, picket fence. At that moment the wheels started turnin, the light
bulb turned on and over the sound of Bieber's angelic voice I screamed “Do you think this is the fence that Tom Finn
painted in the book!??!?!!” Jess and Heather of course shook their heads and
rolled their eyes and set the record straight that Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn were two separate fictional characters. Turns out in the heat of exciting discoveries I
become borderline dyslexic. Same thing happened in LA when I saw Matthew Fox but instead yelled, "Look, it's Matthew Broderick!!"<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-j_lDZrE1idE/T63pU1Xof0I/AAAAAAAAAKI/IARkGmehTzk/s1600/marktwainhouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-j_lDZrE1idE/T63pU1Xof0I/AAAAAAAAAKI/IARkGmehTzk/s320/marktwainhouse.jpg" width="320" /></a>After
setting the record straight on Tom Finn, we made it up to Mark’s home only to find the
tours had ended for the day. However, we did get to look around the outside of
the house which was pretty amazing and I was quickly regretting my decision not to pack my white pant suit and Great Illustrated Classic copy of Tom Sawyer. Mark spared no expense on his lavish dwelling place but it wasn’t at all
what I had imagined the home of Twain to look like. For one thing, I had always
imaged there would be huge white pillars and assumed it was somewhere in the
deep south. It was pretty cool just hanging out on his front porch where he
most likely spent many a night puffing on cigars and thinking up memorable
quotes that people like me would eat up and somehow work into every school research paper imaginable.
Harford was just full of historical surprises and one being that Harriet
Beecher Stowe was Mark’s next door neighbor. Pretty sure their neighborhood book club would have blown Oprah's out of the water! I can’t say I’ve
read a single word of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, however I am a big fan of the creative
interpretation of the story in Roger’s and Hammerstein’s “The King and I”.
Big fan. Huge. Even in spite of the fact that the Simon character gave me nightmares as a small child. <o:p></o:p><br />
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most forward to…..the journey to New York City. I had only been once and it was
on a family vacation in 2004 so I was excited to experience the city as a young
adult. After a two and a half hour bus ride and a hard lesson learned regarding the importance of sitting down when attempting to pee on a bus, we arrived at what a fellow passenger called "the heart beat of America". Our first stop was Washington
Union Square where were we going to start a guided walking tour. We got there with time
to spare so the three of us decided to go hunt down some grub. We had just
left the park when Heather mentioned that the area looked a lot like the neighborhood where the TV show "Will and Grace" was set. Literally within 5 seconds of her
saying this I am looking ahead and notice two men walking towards us
and one of them bears a striking resemblance to Eric McCormack who played Will on the show. Serendipity!!! Before you know it, we were walking right past Eric McCormick and I am freaking the frick out and kicking myself for not having my my iphone out so that i could Instagram the crap out of this moment in time. So while I'm envisioning what sort of filter I would have used for my first celebrity sighting (Nashville and Toaster are my go-to's) I am assuming Jess and Heather are making the same discovery. Turns
out they were not. Turns out Katniss could have been riding by on a chariot with her dress on fire without them noticing. All I can say is
that it’s a good thing I was there. Once Eric and his friend had passed by I grabbed Heather and Jess and asked them if they saw Will (who by the way is incredibly
handsome in real life and had quite the tan going…..oh, and I really want his
jacket). As usual, no one believed me although just to be safe Jess took off
sprinting (one would have thought Bon Jovi had been sighted) back towards the park
where she did indeed verify my claim. We were pretty tempted to follow him
and ask him if he knew where Debra Messing was filming SMASH but turns out Eric McCormack is
quite the speed walker and we decided it was better to save our strength for the walking
tour.<br />
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Soon after grabbing a quick lunch, we met our tour guide under the
Washington Arch. From first glance I had concerns. For one thing, we were the
only people there for the tour, which is never a good sign. Secondly, our tour guide, Dennis, probably hadn’t showered in a few
days. Thirdly, he had a badge that looked like it had been made in Microsoft
Paint. And lastly, it was a three hour tour...a three hour tour...anybody else seen Gilligan's Island? Yeah, didn't work out so well for them, did it!? All my worries were in vain because he turned out to be a hilarious and quite full of fun new york facts. The tour took us through the historical highlights and beautiful old homes of Greenwich Village which included:<br />
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">The oldest tree in New
York, which was used as a hangman’s tree back in the day.<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">The Triangle Building...which was a bit of a downer.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;"> The “Friends” home ( Jess was beside herself).<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">The apartment Eleanor
Roosevelt and FDR lived in after the presidency because it was wheel chair
accessible (fun fact: the ghost of her dog allegedly lives across the
street where there used to be a dog run in the park…all dogs don’t go to
heaven?<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">The restaurant where a young
Norah Jones worked before getting her big break.<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">The hotel where the Mama’s
and the Papa’s stayed when they wrote "California Dreamin"</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">The home of Washington Irving, Jr. who is best known for writing “Sleepy Hollow”<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">Bob Dylan’s old apartment the street where he shot the famous cover for "The Freewheelin Bob Dylan…Dennis felt it was necessary for Jess and I to recreate the famous album cover and I must say the resemblance is uncanny.</li>
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Our remaining 24 hours in the city went by like a true New York minute and we did our best to make the best of it. My dear friend Lyndsay from AmeriCorps met up with us and took us on a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge as the sun was going down which gave us some gorgeous views of the city. By this point in the day our feet felt like they were about to fall off but when you only make it to NYC once every 8 years you gotta keep on keepin on. After that my other friend from AmeriCorps, Janine, met up with us as we took in some Brooklyn and NYC nightlife. We had a very "Sex and the City" moment where we got into a bar based solely on the fact that Lyndsay knew the bartender. Yeah. We were sooo Carrie Bradshaw. Although, word to the weary and thirsty traveler...the price tag to my Long Island Iced Tea could have paid off this months electricity bill. Ah well. When in Rome!<br />
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For the short amount of time we had I feel like we took a fairly decent sized bite out of the Big Apple. Out of it all, what probably was the highlight of the trip for me was
getting to see a Broadway show. Must be the choir nerd inside of me. We had decided to do the thing where you
buy tickets the day of the show and Heather was pulling hard for Newsies
but I had seen Christian Bales weak attempts at singing/dancing/jersey accents a
few too many times so I was in no hurry to see the Broadway version. Luckily for me, the
tickets for Newsies ended up being way out of my price range so we went with How
To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying, starring the one and only Nick Jonas. We barely made it to the show before the curtian rose because Jess and Heather had somehow found the All American Girls store near Times Square and thus I was stuck on bench watching our luggage and making small talk with dads while they ran around reliving their childhood. Heather and I were out of breath and sweating once we finally entered the theatre and to our surprise the usher guided us to the first row of the theatre. Not too shabby! Pretty soon the lights went down and Nick Jonas sweat was dripping onto Heather and I as he climbed up a rope dressed as a window washer. It was rather ironic moment because Heather and I had paid good money ($15 bones) to see "The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert" but this was the real deal! I. WAS. IN. HEAVEN. The show turned out to be amazing and although I had
my doubts about Nick’s acting chops (let’s
be real, he wasn’t about to win an Emmy for his work on the Disney Channel series "Jonas") he
did a really great job and the cast had a lot of well known actors which was
really cool....Jeff Bridges brother, Michael Urie from Ugly Betty, and Tammy Blanchard
who played the young Judy Garland in the movie “Me and My Shadows”. I went into the show not really knowing
much about it so it was great to have little expectations. The music was great. The
dancing made me want to enroll in Julliard. The costumes looked like something
out of Mad Men (so hot these days). Michael Urie was HILARIOUS. And Rose Hemingway, who played
Rosemary,was the most adorable things I’ve ever seen. After the show Heather and I waited backstage along with all the the other teenage girls and their mothers for a glimpse of Joe but despite the loud and incessant screams whenever the door opened he never showed. That's show business for ya. <o:p></o:p></div>
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P.S. I just want to say thanks so much to Lyndsay, Stephon, and Janine for meeting up with me during my trip. It meant so much to see you guys after long two years! And Jess and Heather - thank you for never failing to fill my days with surprise and delight :)</div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-42673639850254619822012-04-07T00:13:00.000-05:002012-04-07T14:33:32.220-05:00It's a Twister!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Lord have mercy, this week in Dallas has just been a mad whirl (pun intended). Yes, siree Bob. If any of you people up North happened to turn on the television this past Tuesday you might have noticed that Dallas got hit with not one, not two, but twelve tornadoes. Yeah, and Dorothy Gale and Toto thought they had it bad with one...bunch of pansies. I am quickly learning that southern living isnt just for the faint heart. It ain't all sunny days, daisy dukes, and fried chicken! Shit gets real! <br />
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It was a slow day at the office and we had just finished lunch when the news broke. A tornado had touched down somewhere south of Dallas. Now as usual, I failed to give mother nature enough credit and greatly underestimated the situation at hand. Kinda like the day that Dallas residents were warned not to leave their homes due to extremely high temperatures. Do you really think that stopped me from making a quick trip to In n Out Burger to pick up my #2 meal, during which time i sweated out every ounce of fluid my body had to offer? Of course not. And it was totally worth it. Then there was the time I was in LA during an earthquake which at first I mistook for a bout of Vertigo. Do you think I let a few cracks in the pavement and some swaying buildings ruin my sightseeing plans? Not this guy! Within 5 minutes I was underground and taking the next subway to Hollywood because this tourist had places to go and D-List celebrities to hunt down. <br />
<br />
So everybody is starting to get serious about the whole situation by now I'm assuming people are making a big deal out of nothing. I mean come on. I've survived a hurricane in Florida when I was vacationing at Disney World and while the palm trees were swaying we just hung out indoors and watched "Lilo and Stitch" and "The Rookie" on repeat for 48 hours straight. No big deal right? (Did I mention no amount of money could persuade me to watch either of those movies ever again?) Anyways, before I have enough time time to make a "there's no place like home" joke, the cities alarms are sounding, my co-worker Marlee is frantically scavenging the office in search of a pillow to shield her from falling debris, Larita and Sherlene are making a beeline for the back door to have one last smoke, golf ball sized hail is falling from the heavens, and all 8 of us end up crammed into a tiny computer room watching the news as 18 wheelers are being hoisted hundreds of feet up into the air like my beloved Raggedy Ann and Andy Dolls.<br />
<br />
By now I was fairly concerned. Especially once I took into consideration the fact that our office is located in strip mall that as of a week ago had become infested with termites. Therefore, there was no way in hell my office walls were gonna survive a hit from 150 mile an hour winds. At this point I did what every other person in my ruby slippers would have done. I called my roommate Robbie to tell him that if I died it was all his fault for conning me into moving to Dallas in the first place and that I cursed the day he was born! That felt good. After getting that off my chest, a flood of thoughts and questions came running through my mind...does my insurance cover tornado collision or is that a completely separate thing I should have looked into 24 hours ago....do I have time to take a quick poop because who knows when I'll get to leave this room again...if I seek shelter in the nearby Mediterranean Restaurant I wonder what my chances of getting free pita and hummus are...should I call Mom or has Grandma already checked the Dallas weather today and told her my chances of survival aren't lookin too good...what should my last Facebook status update be.....definitely needs to be something witty because i wanna leave this world on a high note of LOL's and "Like" buttons.<br />
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After about an hour of keeping our eyes glued to the events unfolding before our eyes on the iPad screen and after being asked by several "concerned"friends to upload some cool and vintage Instagram pics from the eye of the storm, it became evident that we were probably going to be ok...which also meant we had to get back to work and be productive. Wah wah. It was all rather anticlimactic but I was thankful in the long run for no harm being done to myself and those around me. Even though the hail did leave some nasty dents in my car, I am counting my blessings that the Matrix stayed in the same parking spot I had put it in earlier that day. You just never know what the day will bring.Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-67579308880433208212012-03-23T10:15:00.001-05:002012-03-24T01:45:07.386-05:00We Are YoungThe Legacy of the Rob and Robbie show continues on. Here is our latest offering to the world in the form of a cover song to the bestie, Jess Miller. Sit back, relax, and let the sound of our angelic voices fill your cubicle.<br />
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<br />Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-66214930830548153632012-02-13T00:15:00.000-06:002012-02-27T23:36:18.946-06:00And the Grammy goes to...<br />
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Oh man. One of my favorite television events of the season
has “at last” (R.I.P. Etta) come and so quickly has gone. As usual, there was
an artist who went around snatchin’ up all the awards. Last year Beyonce had
everybody putting a ring on it as well as putting a check next to her name on
the nominee ballot, and this year it was Adele’s turn. It would appear there
were no hanging chads in this Grammy race and thank goodness cuz home girl
deserved every award she was nominated for. I’d go as far to say that she
should have won even the awards she wasn’t nominated for…Best R & B album, Best Rock Performance, Best Spoken Word...you get the idea. I’m a fan. Who knew
that a free Starbucks iTunes song of the week called Chasing Pavements back in
2008 would end with this only 4 years later? Crazy. I will say though, I was a little it
disappointed when she only performed one song. Definitely had my fingers
crossed for some sort of Glee inspired mash up, but seeing as she just
recovered from throat surgery it’s probably best to take things slow. All I
know is I was praying for the tears to start falling when she got record of the
year and they most certainly did. Plus, I think I’ve developed the biggest
friend crush ever when she blurted out in-between sniffles that she had snot
running down her nose.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now as for the rest of the artists this evening….<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ok Taylor Swift. You know how much I love you. I’ve bought
all your albums and have all the lyrics memorized. But seriously, if your jaw
drops to the ground one more time, whether or not you get a standing ovation or
a Grammy, I’m gonna give you some more tears for your guitar. Frankly, nobody
including myself is buying your fake show of astonishment upon receiving any
form of recognition at this point. You’re good. People love you. You already have more Grammy’s
than you have bedazzled pink guitars so let's stop acting like it's breaking news.<br />
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Chris Brown. DAMN YOU!! I try so hard not to like you after what you did to my girl Rhianna, but then you keep coming out with awesome dance moves and catchy pop tunes that keep weaseling their way into my affections. <br />
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Jennifer Hudson. You nailed the Whitney Houston tribute, although I wouldn’t have minded if you had thrown in a little “Million Dollar
Bill” to perk up the depressing white elephant in the room. But let’s get down to
brass tacks. You obviously have one of the best voices in the biz and you almost
have me convinced to join weight watchers.
But as I discussed with Skip, when your best song from both your albums
is “Spotlight” I think it’s time to surround yourself with some new
songwriters/producers. I’m praying you are currently chatting it up with the
silver fox that helped Adele write “Rolling in the Deep” because he is exactly
what you need.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Nicki Minaj. WHAT. WERE . YOU. THINKING???? Your performance
left me feeling like I needed to go to confessional. And who the hell is
Roman???<o:p></o:p></div>
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Gaga. I’m incredibly impressed by the self-control you
conveyed by only making one outfit change during the entire night. I really
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Katy Perry. Love the new song. I will obviously be buying
it….after I get that tax return. But for the love of Whitney Houston… STEP AWAY
FROM THE HAIR CRIMPER AND BLUE HAIR DYE.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Beach Boys/Beach Boy cover bands. Aside from all things
Adele, you were the highlight of the show for me. Loved every minute of that
nostalgic trip through my musical past, even if the guy from Foster the People
was super awkward and kinda pitchy. I was left wishing you had all been there
when I saw you perform at that Indian Casino somewhere outside of Yakima,
Washington. Things are obviously looking up for you because there really wasn’t
anywhere to go but up as I sat between my parents in bleachers while 50 year
old couples got tipsy and awkwardly danced around to “Surfer Girl”.<o:p></o:p></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-52080828302398394242012-01-02T23:20:00.000-06:002012-01-03T22:49:03.958-06:00A New Year in Austin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This past weekend was a very exciting one, for many reasons.
Obviously it meant the end of 2011 and the dawning of what the Mayan’s are
calling our last year on earth…but more importantly I finally got to visit one
of the coolest cities ever. You may have heard of the place they call the capital of Texas,
the land of the hipsters, the 3<sup>rd</sup> fastest growing city in America, the
Seattle of Texas, the live music capital of the world, the New Jerusalem and as of 3 days ago; the place where I want to grow old with my partner in crime and raise our hipster babies. Yes, I am speaking of the one and only, Austin. Ever since I crossed the Texas border last July people
have done nothing but talk up this place. They told me I would love it and that
I probably wouldn’t want to leave once i bathed in its glory. I was a little concerned that it had all been so built up in my mind that it would lead to nothing but disappointment. Turns out there was no need to fret. It was all that jazz and more. It’s probably a good
thing I put off visiting this long because had this happened before getting my current job, I probably would have sneaked out of my apartment in the dead of night before the next month's rent was due and never looked back. Sorry, Robbie. Too
put it in simple terms, if Seattle and Portland ever hooked up and made a baby,
it would be Austin. After five months of
living in Dallas with no water, mountains, or trees in sight, it was quite the
sight for sore eyes to see a large river running through the middle of downtown
and rolling green hills off in the distance. It brought a tear to these brown eyes. Who
woulda thought this place would exist in Texas of all places!? It all made me feel right at home, especially the fact that the place is swarming with hipsters whom by now have gone nearly extinct in Dallas. Not that I am a hipster by any means. For one thing i don't chain smoke, I shower at least once a day, I haven't composted in years, and I've never bought anything from Whole Foods aside from a giftcard. Not to say we hipsters have nothing in common. I do love me some cutoffs on a summer day, rockin' the vintage T and Ray-Banz with Fleet Foxes playing gently in the background. More than anything, a hipster sighting leaves me feeling that I'm not so far away from my beloved Pacific Northwest. I'm sure Tamara was probably a little sick of me shrieking and pointing whenever a hipster on a bike, with a beard, an ugly sweater, a PBR, or a cuorderoy pair of TOMS passed by, but I just couldn't help it! What can I say? It's like comin home.<br />
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Me and my Tamara loaded up the Mustang and left for Dallas on Friday after work and headed south to join up with some of her old El Paso friends. From that moment on the good times just kept on a rollin like the nearby Colorado River. Our first order of business was to head to Hotel Vegas because our friend had seen a poster that advertised "Free Beer" for the night. They had me at the word free and it almost was to good to be true! This must be the promised land! Come to find out this so called "Free Beer" was the name of the band performing that night. Sneaky bastards. I'll give them this; an A plus for their marketing strategy. After getting over the false advertisement, we went around taking in the local nightlife which was loads of fun. It involved a lot of dancing and bar hopping and at one point we ended up at a place where the dance floor was on top of an aquarium that used to have live sharks swimming around. Sadly some snitch from PETA found a dead shark in the back dumpster and shut down that operation real quickly. They can be so dramatic sometimes.<br />
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Morning soon came and the best part of waking up was the local Austin delicacy known as gingerbread pancakes which were hands down the best pancakes I've ever put in my mouth....and that's sayin' something. They were prepared by our generous hostess Natalie who also makes a mean mole' and who's apartment I now refer to as my timeshare, because God as my witness, I'll be back. The rest of the day was spent doing the things that real Austinites do such as: browsing the shelves of vintage clothing shops, soaking up the 70 degree weather, dining on organic foods, making a quick stop at American Apparell, and applying an instagram filter to every picture on my camera roll. By the 30th instagram photo upload my fingers and legs were exhausted so we decided nap time was necessary if we wanted to stay awake late enough for the countdown of the ball dropping.<br />
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After getting ourselves all dolled up in our New Year's Eve attire and bougin' it up on public transportation, we made our grand entrance to a bar called Shangri-La via a high-speed pedicab ride. The pedicab ride alone was quite an adventure in and of itself and we were happy to be alive after being completely rear-ended by the pedicab that was following us with two of our other friends. Luckily no one, including the driver was injured although I have a feeling there were some choice words between the two drivers after we exited the vehicle because the guy totally dented the back of our pedicab and left it with some strange new squeaky noises. The theme at the bar for the night was sock hop which was really fun and different and let's just say my purely coincidental outfit choice of a clip on bow-tie and suspenders fit right in. Midnight came and went and my new year was ushered in by the sound of the 50's, surrounded by friends both old and new and I even managed to nab a New Year's kiss and possibly the tastiest quesadilla I'd ever tasted. Who could ask for more? </div>
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In an effort to prove to me that there are musical options I would enjoy that aren't found on VH1 Top 20 countdown, the 3 hour drive to and from Austin was spent expanding my current itunes library. Here are a few of the songs that are by no means new to the scene, but they are new to me and I hope they bring as much joy to your ears as they did mine. Happy New Year everyone :)<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-89176777027009124422011-12-24T11:06:00.000-06:002012-08-26T10:57:36.769-05:00White Rock Marathon<br />
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I finally did it. I ran a marathon. Still not exactly sure what provoked me to do
such a thing. Possibly, the fact that I recently turned 26 and am just
beginning to come to grips with the fact that the prime years of my life were at
least 4 years ago. Back when Jack and Kate were still trapped on a island,
Lauren Conrad was still friends with Heidi Montag and Marissa Cooper had just
OD’d in TJ. Ahhh, the golden years. Thus
with only a few more good years left before the arthritis kicks in, time is of
the essence. And besides, bucket lists don’t check themselves off! I had it
narrowed down to the race or skydiving so I went for the slightly less
terrifying option. I started training
back in the summer but once I moved to Texas where it was a cool 100 degrees by
11pm, the whole workout plan sort of fell apart. Especially, after the 3<sup>rd</sup>
minor heat stroke. Once October came around I started to hit it hard again and
was really starting to put some miles on my new pair of Asics. Then came
daylight savings and although I hate running in the dark I tried to make the
best of it. For obvious safety reason I started running with an elastic headlamp
around my waist as a way to light the way as I frantically prayed to God to
send down a few ripped guardian angels to keep me and my iPod shuffle safe.
Unfortunately the baby muffin top I‘ve acquired from my mixture of a year
living with mom’s home cooking/ being drawn to In n Out like a moth to the flame,
had a knack for pressing the on/off switch as I made my way down the road. Giving
off a sort of strobe light effect it’s highly likely I sent several night
drivers into fits of epilepsy. My bad.
Safety first people!<o:p></o:p></div>
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The 3 weeks leading up to the actual marathon weren’t
pretty. I had come down with a slight chest cold right before my birthday and
it ended up staying with me for 3 weeks, which really put a damper on my
training regime. I was starting to wonder if I should call it quits because I
had never run more than 13 miles at any given time. Seeing as I’d already spent
half my birthday money on this non-refundable gift I decided to suck it up and give
it my best shot. After carb loading like a mad man the night before, the
morning of the race I awoke at the ungodly hour of 5:30 am to the sound of
torrential downfall. I was not pleased. I hadn’t really done my research on
weather conditions for the day of the race so I wasn’t really equipped with the
most appropriate attire. Luckily I had red emergency rain poncho that I’m
guestimating I purchased back in 2002 and I’d been saving for a time of crisis.
The time had come to break that seal and wave my poncho in all it’s glory, even
if it did mean covering up my new slim fitting Dri Nike running shirt I’d
purchased specifically for the occasion. I had totally dressed to impress
because even if I didn’t make it to the finish line, I still wanted to look as Sporty Spice as possible.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I had 3 big fears going into racing day: <o:p></o:p></div>
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The possibility that I would shit my self myself mid race<o:p></o:p></div>
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Number 2-<o:p></o:p></div>
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The big unknown of where chafage might and most likely would
occur over the course of four hours.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What would happen if my Ipod battery died and I no longer
had the thumping beats of a Britney remix to keep me motivated??<o:p></o:p></div>
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As usual, I hadn’t done a very in depth research on marathon
running and it wasn’t until talking with my friend Tamara the night before did
I learn that it’s a common problem for people to poop themselves while running
over long distances. Thanks to a deadly
combination of a generous helping of granola the morning of and pre race jitters, upon
arriving at the starting line I had one of those “gotta go gotta go gotta go
right now sort of moments.” Apparently I was not alone in the feeling and after
standing in line for the honey buckets for almost 15 minutes I was finally able
to take care of business before my ass exploded all over the streets of Dallas.
I was sort of relieved in a way because I figured I probably wouldn’t need to go
again for awhile, although due to my impromptu pit stop I was late for the
start of the race and I totally missed the singing of the star spangled banner.
When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Aside from the fact that it was cold, rainy and I looked like
the red M&M with my bright red poncho and icy white hands….Oh and did I mention
I had to keep taking off my glasess every mile or so to wipe away the rain with
a torn up Hanes shirt?? Yeah, that made me feel REAL cool. All that aside, the first
20 miles of the race were great. I was excited to be there. I was tossin’ back Gatorade and electrolytes
gummies like they were Jell-O shots. There were lots of enthusiastic people
with hilarious signs like ““It’s long and hard, so do it fast” ,“Beer misses you
too”, “1 Hours till Margaritas”, “Just keep swimming”. I was digging my playlist and I had gotten a
dry pair of socks at mile 9 from Bart, Tamara and KT, which put a little spring
in my step while the rest of me was soaked to the bone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then came mile 20. Like a freight train. Turns out the
episode of The Office where Andy’s nipples start to bleed during the company
fun run were based on true events. I mean I had totally put Vaseline on the ol’
nips but I think a mixture of rain and sweat had swept it away miles back. In
other words my chest was beginning to resemble a crime scene. I sure didn’t
remember this part of “Chariots of Fire”??!! Thank goodness I’d gone with the
black windbreaker instead of the white one cuz that would have been embarrassing.
I was desperately looking around for anything to ease the pain and was keeping
my peripherals peeled for someone with a tube of lip gloss, Chapstick, a maxi
pad….ANYTHING to form a barrier between me and my wet shirt. I eventually gave
up on that dream and went with the no pain no gain mentality. As if I weren’t in enough agony, my legs
started cramping up like crazy around
this same time and I was pretty much over the whole marathon thing by mile 23. I tried my best to imagine myself gliding along on a Segway but it wasn't really helping. Deep down I was
praying some random civilian would come out of nowhere and go all Nancy
Kerrigan on my legs with a crowbar. At that point they would have been doing me
a favor. I know that was so the 1990’s but at least that way I would’ve had a legit
reason for not finishing the marathon and still left with some dignity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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26.2 miles and a copious amount of pop songs later, and by
the grace of God, I did make it. It’s all a bit of a blur after crossing
that finish line because I’m pretty sure hypothermia was kicking in big time at
that point and I hardly had the strength to peel a banana for nourishment.
After slowly and painfully stumbling around the fairgrounds parking lot in
search of my car whose location I had completely forgotten, I was finally able
to crank up the heat and thaw out before losing any of my limbs to gangrene.
What. A. Relief. The craziest part of
the whole thing is I kind of want to do it again….but next time I’ll be sure to
have these….<o:p></o:p></div>
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Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-50559782842081688772011-12-15T23:40:00.003-06:002011-12-16T09:29:04.782-06:00Keeping Up With the Robs<br />
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As if taking New York and Miami weren’t enough….US weekly
has confirmed that several members of the Kardashian “Klan” are making the move
to Dallas. Read story here: <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/rob-kardashian-is-moving-to-dallas-with-khloe-lamar-odom-20111312">http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/rob-kardashian-is-moving-to-dallas-with-khloe-lamar-odom-20111312</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Can’t say that I blame them. Word travels fast these days and it was only a matter of time before the cool kids learned of my move to the south. I tend to be the epitome of a trend
setter and I would like to go on record as the person who told Gaga that mint
is going to be very big in fashion this spring. Marry the Night? Anyone? Yep,
totally me. The real curve ball in this
whole scenario is that Rob Kardashian is moving along with Kloe and Lamar. What
a good brother. Hopefully there is
enough room in this town for another Rob because if I had a quarter for every
Robert I’ve met since moving here I totally could have afforded a rental from
Red Box tonight. What I wanna know is
what an average day in the life of Rob Kardashian is like? Let’s be real, someone
must have switched us at birth because he is clearly living the life I was
meant to lead. Plus Kourtney and I basically look like we could be twins. Some
guys have all the luck. Dating a Cheetah Girl? Unemployed and living off the
wealth of his sisters? Almost wins Dancing with the Stars? Rob! If you’re reading this, TEACH ME YOUR
WAYS! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, I know I’ve said it before, but this is a TOTAL God
thing. This is my ticket to getting on a reality show cuz you know they’ll be taping
down here. I knew turning down casting offers from the A-List or Most Eligible Dallas producers was a smart move. This could be my perfect debut to the American public. I mean seriously, how great would it be if Rob’s two best friends on
the show were recent/fabulous Dallas transplants by the same name? You just can’t
write this stuff!!!! Obviously we’d have sooooo much in common and sooooo much drama to talk about during
our staged life debriefs as we scour the shelves of the bound to be opened Dash
store before grabbing happy hour at Uncle Julio's. And just think of the spin off
show possibilities. “Keeping Up with the Robs”. “Rob, Rob, and Robbie take
Dallas.” Dallas’s Most Eligible Robs”….they’ll love it on Lifetime. Before you
know it I’ll be running out of places to put my daytime Emmy’s. BRB, I think Ryan Seacrest is calling.....<o:p></o:p></div>
Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-78974459436893267042011-12-02T12:02:00.001-06:002011-12-02T12:13:27.958-06:00Happy Birthday Brit Brit!<br />
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In honor of the legendary Miss Britney Spears who is turning 30 today, my roommate Robbie and I took it upon ourselves to write a lil ditty in the form of a special birthday message to the woman who made us STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY and who will keep us dancing TILL THE WORLD ENDS!!! Happy Birthday Britney! Love you!<br />
xoxo Rob and Robbie <br />
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<br />Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-73356653581263640672011-11-28T23:38:00.001-06:002012-01-26T23:46:01.305-06:00Monday, Monday<br />
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Maaaaaaan alive. I had a feeling the Monday following
Thanksgiving was gonna be a rough one. Let’s face it, there’s really nowhere but
downhill and a snap back to reality when you’ve spent the past 5 days being
spoiled rotten by the parents, taking naps every afternoon, getting tipsy on
Martinelli’s Sparking Cider, taking in
majestic views of the Blue Mountains, and being showered in puppy kisses by my
baby girl Elly. After a lovely getaway to the recently crowned “Nicest Town In
America”, me and my 48 lbs. of checked luggage ( it was an early Christmas
miracle I kept that sucker under the 50 lb. limit) took a jet back to my
current residence of Texas where I rolled into DFW at midnight. That whole time
change thing can be a real pain. Luckily I have a roommate who loves me enough
to drop me off at both 5 in the morning and pick me up at all hours of the
night. Love you Vobbie! After hugs and
the usual “never leave me again speech” Robbie laid down the cold hard facts
that my car battery was dead. It wasn’t much of a surprise seeing as I had
received a text from one of my neighbors when I was still in Washington, alerting
me to the fact that I’d left my lights on. My neighbor is also the #1 smoker of
our tiny apartment complex and seeing as he finds himself outside a majority of
the time he usually knows what’s going on in everyone’s life; or in my case
whether or not I remembered to turn off my lights. This was not the first time
this had happened and I dare say it won’t be the last. The thing that was different
about this incident was that the lights had been on for 3 days. I called Robbie
to see what he could do and try as he and Bart may they couldn’t revive the
Matrix. Luckily my dad still has me on
the AAA plan and Bart, being his usual giving self, let me borrow his car to get
to work. Love you Bart! I made an appointment to have AAA work their magic earlier
this evening and by God’s good graces the nice tow truck man was able to get
the car started with no trouble. I decided to go for a ride and upon realizing
I had nothing in my apartment to eat, I of course headed to my friendly, neighborhood
Wal-Mart, because aside from Subway it’s the only place I have still have a gift
card. I had driven the car for about 10 minutes so I thought the battery would
be charged enough for a quick shopping trip. Mmmmm turns out I was
mistaken. Let me tell ya, it’s a pretty
humbling experience to come back to a dead car battery in the middle of a
Wal-Mart parking lot. I really couldn’t imagine a worse time or place for this
to happen. It was 7 pm and you know that everyone just got off work and are
probably about as happy about it being Monday as I was. There really wasn’t
much I could do but sit and wait like a creeper for people to park around me or
return to their mode of transportation before approaching them with my
sparkling charm and shiny set of jumper cables . My first victim told me she
would have helped me if she didn’t have a kid before hurriedly slamming her
door in my face. I’m still trying to figure out what the kid had to do with
anything but then again maybe she took my tearful plea for help as a pickup
line in hope for a future date? Victim #2 was a quick one and on the spot came
up with unlikely story that her battery happened to be locked up in her trunk.
I had my suspicions she was lying but I also know next to nothing about cars so
I didn’t push the issue. Victim #3 was holding an angel food cake and clearly
didn’t see me coming because she turned around with a look of terror when I yelled
out “excuse me maam!?”!As with the others, she had an alibi of having to get
somewhere in a hurry and assured me that she’s usually the type of person to
help others. Yeah, like I hadn’t heard that one before. By this point I’m
looking around in my back seat to see if there are any warm blankets or
possibly some kindling, in the likelihood that I end up spending the night in
the hatchback as I play big spoon to my jug of milk that’s going bad by the
second. All of a sudden, out of the darkness, comes my night in shining
armor…driving a red Nissan. Well, in times like these one can’t be picky. Although
I would have preferred an Audi. I didn’t catch his name but he is already my
new favorite person and I may have come off a little too enthusiastic when he
agreed to pop his hood. I told him he was the nicest person in this whole
parking lot and that it’s moments like this that give me hope for humanity.
Hopefully our paths will cross again someday, most likely at Wal-Mart and maybe
I'll buy him a pack of gum or some Great Value yogurt? It’s the least I could do.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uGSxK9URoo8/TtRwizJTeEI/AAAAAAAAAGY/g4EyL0BfTcM/s1600/justin-bieber-brings-selena-gomez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uGSxK9URoo8/TtRwizJTeEI/AAAAAAAAAGY/g4EyL0BfTcM/s320/justin-bieber-brings-selena-gomez.jpg" width="224" /></a>But really the biggest let down of my Monday came at work when
I discovered that after spending every weekend here for 4 straight months, the ONE
weekend I decide to leave Dallas, freaking Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are
in town!!!! WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS?! Yes. THE Justin Bieber who I have supported
and defended since day one. The same Justin Bieber who’s Christmas album I
listened to 99% of my flight back to Walla Walla. The same Justin Bieber who’s movie “Never Say
Never” I rented from RedBox and was subsequently late to a birthday party
because I was so engrossed by his inspiring tale of rags to riches. And yes, THE
Justin Bieber who is arguably one of the most famous people in the world as we
speak! The news was almost as heart wrenching as when I found out I had been a
mere block from Aaron Carter in downtown Hollywood, which my friends all knew
but had decided to keep from me because they thought I would pull over the car
into the nearest no parking zone and take off running down the street in his
general direction. Please. People don’t give me enough credit. As I told the
woman at Wells Fargo who hooked me up with a free checking account, I’m used to
being around fame. I mean Tanya from the Real World took her senior pictures in
my backyard. NBD. My boss’s daughter is the one who filled me in on this tasty
nibble of local celeb gossip because she’s actually the one who spotted the
prince of pop at the movie theatre she was at, which I might add was a mere two
minutes from my apartment. Him and Selena totally could have stopped by for an
early dinner of fish sticks and cinnamon toast crunch (off brand of course). To
be honest my friend may or may not have been tipped off that he was at the
theatre and possibly that he was taking to Selena to see Twilight. Sadly Justin
changed his mind last minute and ended up going to see The Muppets Movie. He’s
so spontaneous! But I must say, it is ironic because wouldn’t ya know, I had
also made plans to see The Muppet Movie the
same day…but opted out for a nap instead. BUT still!! It’s almost like our
lives would have been connected for a small moment in time as we laughed at all
the same jokes, chewed on our candy of choice( milk duds obviously), cried as
Kermit and Miss Piggy had a falling out…you get the idea. But I haven’t given
up hope that Justin and I will become friends. New Years is around the corner
and I’m sure him and Selena will be back for another movie date and this time
I’ll be ready!<o:p></o:p></div>
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P.S. Jess Miller: today’s voicemail where you serenaded me
with Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called To Say I Love You” was by far the highlight
of my day….aside from getting jumpstarted by a total stranger which came in a
close second. I’ll call you soon.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-44173433622920014142011-11-22T21:39:00.001-06:002011-11-23T22:35:16.935-06:0026<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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November really is the best month out of the year. I mean think about it. It’s the time of year when you finally get to bundle up in your scarves and sweaters, all Urban Outfitters tank tops are finally on sale, a Twilight/Harry Potter/Pixar movie is bound to be in a theatre near you, Justin Bieber Christmas music fills the air, pumkin spice latte’s are practically falling from the sky like manna from heaven, and of course it’s my Birthday! This year I turned the big 26 and as one of the cards I received said, “you’ve finally reached an age of no significance at all”. I couldn’t agree more. Gone are the days of having a birthday to look forward to. Birthdays that meant you would be able to drive a car, gamble away in a casino, buy a pack of smokes, enjoy a nice glass of wine, or have lower monthly rate on your car insurance. More than anything I miss the days of my youth where threatening to uninvite someone from your birthday actually meant something. That was real power. Reflecting back on my oh so recent life, I’m realizing that I seem to have trouble staying in one place. Over the last 4 years I’ve celebrated the day of my birth in both Washington, Iowa, and California and now Texas is being added to the list. This time around I thought it would be fun to go with a theme for my party and what better way to ring in the 80 degree Dallas autumn than a Paul Bunyan party? Am I right?? Plus I’d just bought a pair of super cute Clarks boots and I was looking for any reason imaginable to bust em out. I opted for the hipster Paul Bunyan look and paired my boots, suspenders, J Crew socks and flannel with a pair of cut offs and all I’m saying is the hipsters in Seattle would have been eating me up with a vintage and slightly overpriced spoon. Everybody got real into the theme and I even had a friend dress up as Babe the Blue Ox, complete with a nose ring he bought at Claire’s. It. Was. Awesome. Another friend was generous enough to buy me a birthday cake for the celebration and had even placed a special order with a bakery where he stressed the keywords of PAUL BUNYAN, AXE, FLANNEL, LUMBER JACK when describing what he wanted the cake to look like. Something was obviously lost in translation because come a week later, the lights are off, the candles are lit, my friends are singing happy birthday and I look down to see a giant Viking helmet and axe adorning the top of my cake. I mean at least they got the axe part right but I think someone at the bakery needs a little American folklore brush up before they attempt to take the SAT’s for the 5<sup>th</sup> time.</div>
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With all the love and surprises that came with this birthday also came the inconvenience of having to renew my Driver’s License. Talk about a buzzkill. It was a huge pain in the butt because of all the paperwork they needed and registering of the car, etc., etc., etc. After hours of internet research, phone calls home, finding the perfect outfit for the picture, and picking out a DMV (or DPS as they call them here) I was finally ready to get er’ done. I made an effort to arrive at the DPS early but after my GPS decided to take me to an abandoned IHOP instead, I was only there 5 minutes before the place opened and it already looked like the line for a homeless shelter. After waiting in line for 45 minutes I finally made it to the front desk to get a number. I thought being an American and having to move to Texas sucked, but it turns out my Korean friend ahead of me in line had me beat. I’m assuming the poor man had just moved here from Korea and like myself he was also on a mission to get a license. Unfortunately he hadn’t been notified that his old Korean license had to be professionally translated before he could get a US one and therefore he waited in line for nothing. My heart went out to him….until it dawned on me that this meant that I had one less person to wait in line behind so I got over it real quickly. The next 2 hours that I spent waiting for my number to be called were pure torture. There had to have been at least 50 people crammed into the waiting area where one baby was screaming bloody murder for a majority of the time and somehow everybody was getting called ahead of me. I of course was alone with no reading material or smart phone to keep my mind occupied so I tried to make small talk with the lady sitting next to me. She was a nurse who had just finished working the night shift at the hospital, which lead to a lot of one-sided conversations as she nodded in and out of consciousness while I just looked like a crazy person.<br />
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Now as I previously mentioned, one of the best parts about November are the Twilight movies and I am happy to inform ya’ll that I have indeed gone to see Breaking Dawn: Part 1. Seeing as I am quickly turning into an old man, I decided to turn down free tickets to see the midnight showing because the thought of getting 4 hours of sleep before work made me want to vomit. Had it been the year 2007 there is no doubt in my mind that I would have been there with my Team Edward t-shirt and body glitter that I picked up from Hot Topic. Many of you may be surprised to hear that I wasn’t too quick to join this whole Twilight wagon. For one thing I’m not much of a reader unless Oprah puts it in her book club, and secondly I thought Vampires were super lame. My friend Meghan convinced me to go to the first movie with her and within 10 minutes I was hooked. Set in Washington?? Forbidden love??? Sexual tension you could cut with a knife?!??!? Non-stop depressing hipster love songs??? Main actors name is Rob!?!?! Seriously, what’s not to love.? All I’m saying is, as usual, the tween inside of me won and since then I’ve seen all the movies, read the books, listened the soundtracks, set up a savings account to save up for my trip to Forks, and regardless of gender I plan on naming my first born EJ (Edward Jacob). Speaking of first-borns; highlight of the matinee by far had to be the group of teenage girls who left the theatre shaking and crying with their hands covering their eyes as Bella gave what looked like the most painful birth of the century. Shit got real. That scene may just be the best form of birth control Hollywood has ever put out there. Now if only Justin Bieber had made it to an advance screening…too soon?</div>
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<br /></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-91128042384842967852011-11-03T10:41:00.003-05:002011-11-03T13:29:40.593-05:00Car Troubles in DallasWednesday, November 2, 2011<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">5:36 PM<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Well I’m patiently awaiting the return of the stressed out
looking Discount Tires man who is gonna tell me why my tire is flat and whether
or not I’ll be spending my whole month’s salary on a new pair of tires. Happy
Birthday to me…….*begins to sob uncontrollably* Ugh. Cars. Can’t live with em.
Can’t live without em. My boss’s daughter was the one that first alerted me to the
problem. I wasn’t too surprised after I remembered how a light with an
explanation point had been lighting up my dashboard for over a week now. Maybe
my car had been trying to tell me something? All I know is I’m already missing
my Les Schwab Tire Store with their friendly service and endless amounts of
popcorn. This is the second time this week I’ve had the luxury of lounging in
an auto mechanic shop and my big question is how the hell does someone get a
People magazine around these sorts of places!?? I ran into the same problem
yesterday at Kwik Kar but wasn’t about the address the problem because I knew
I’d be wasting my breath with people who not only misspelled the word “Quick”
but “Car” as well. Public schools these days……You know it’s bad when your best option
for light reading is Seventeen Magazine, but I was getting desperate because it
was either that or ESPN magazine *shudder*. The funniest thing about the whole
experience was that one of the guys working on my car kept taking mini breaks by coming into the
lobby to watch whatever football game was on TV. He must have felt we had some sort of common interest in
the sports because he kept talking to me about the game and would make loud
cheering noises and then look awkwardly at me and await my response to the
latest touchdown. Did he really think a 25 year old man who was browsing the
pages of Seventeen with Britney from Glee on the cover and lightly skimming
through the article that went into vivid detail about how Lauren Conrad died
her hair 3 different colors in a single week gave a flying rip?!?!? Apparently I’m
REAL good feigning interest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">All this has to be God’s way of punishing me for waiting
beyond the 30 day limit in which a new resident of Texas is allowed to register
their vehicle. It’s something I’ve been dreading. Both for financial reasons
and pure laziness. Also it’s a bit of a thrill to drive through the freeway
tolls for free thanks to my Washington license plates. I’m sure going to miss
those moments. I honestly probably would have put the whole thing off longer if
my license wasn’t about to expire in less than two weeks, thus making it very
necessary. Especially if I have any
desire to buy a celebratory drink on my
B-day. I’m not totally opposed to the idea of getting a new I.D. card.
Especially since I’ve run into several situations where people looked at me
like I’d handed them a fake drivers license. Sorry big bouncer man at the Hard
Rock Casino in Biloxi, 2006 was a long time ago and people change. But it will be nice to have a picture that is
more to my likeness. The lame part is that I have to retake my driving tests
all over again which I think is just ridiculous. Pretty sure my grandfather was
driving late into his mid nineties with no questions asked by the local
government, and here I come all young, quick minded, with a perfect driving
record having to prove that I still remember how to turn on my blinker when
changing lanes. Where’s the logic?? And don’t even get me started on how
parallel parking is one of my many if not most utilized spiritual gifts. Don’t
even go there girlfriend, mkaaaaay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Uh oh. The girl sitting to my left just started crying. She
also must have noticed the sorry excuse for a magazine rack….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Thursday, November 3, 2011</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">9:19 AM</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve only been awake for 2 hours and I’m so ready to go
home, lock my bedroom door, crawl into bed and hibernate till say mid March. It’s been another Red Letter day and in my
attempt at being a just, upright, and outstanding citizen I bit the bullet this
morning and headed to downtown Dallas to get my car registered. I should have taken it as a bad omen when I
realized that the Dallas County Tax Office is located several yards away from
where Kennedy was assassinated, but I had other things on my mind. Street
parking was hard to find but I eventually found a spot with a parking meter. After
ravaging my car for change like a meth addict I luckily found a quarter that I
had missed during last weeks search for laundry money which meant I had enough
change to buy me 23 minutes of time. I knew I’d be cutting it close but it’s
the best I could do. It was all rather frantic as I was throwing all the
necessary paperwork into a folder and wiping away the spilt coffee off my jeans
(I’d left my thermos at work so I had to make due with my Paris Starbucks mug….found
out the hard way there are a few potholes in downtown that need IMMEDIATE
attention). Anyways so frantic was I that I failed to realize at the time that
I was parking in a tow away zone. I swear I’m dyslexic when it comes to tow
away signs in that I usually see the opposite of what the sign says. It’s
happened before and I’m sure it’ll happen again. So I run like a madman into
the building before catching my death of pneumonia because we had our lowest
temperature for the year this morning which was a staggering 44 degrees as of
8am, which after a 110 degree summer my body is not prepared for in the slightest. The whole process of getting the plates went
way more smoothly than expected and I left with a much smaller bank account but
an optimistic outlook on the day. All that went down the crapper once I
returned to my car to find six minutes remaining on my parking meter and a
whopping parking ticket on the windshield. I debated screaming and throwing
garbage cans into the street but remembered I could no longer afford a fine for
appearing to be intoxicated in public.
But seriously Dallas, I just gave you an ungodly amount of money for 2
license plates that probably weren’t even American-made and I’m giving you a
full year of my life that I’ll never get back. What more do you want from me and what kind of grace filled
community am I living in!?!??!?! And on top of it all I totally could have saved that stupid quarter, either for next week’s laundry or for my state quarter collection,
which by the way is nearing completion.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Cambria;">I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">n retrospect of this mornings events I suppose I have more in common
with JFK than I ever realized? We both rocked the Ray-Ban Wayfarer, both shared
a love for classic movie stars and we both got screwed over by the city of Dallas in the month of November. Guess we should have looked into that whole public transportation thing...</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-55993948894131992102011-10-15T19:37:00.000-05:002011-10-15T20:07:22.215-05:00Big Boy Job<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My favorite season has finally arrived. Fall. Autumn. Call
it what you will. Either way, I love it. Unfortunately, the Dallas version of
fall is a far cry from what I’m accustomed to. I suppose I’ve been spoiled by
the beauty of Washington with it’s cold crisp mornings and all the colored
leaves falling to the ground. Down here
we’re still having 90 degree weather (not that I’m complaining) and our leaves
still have the parched and slightly green tint to them. I was informed today
that the leaves here go straight from green to dead and gone. No room for
vibrant reds, or oranges around these parts so I shouldn’t hold my breath for anything
remotely New England-esque during this season. This morning was exciting
because I woke up to cloud cover, a slight drizzle, and 70-degree weather. I
was so happy. Finally a day that felt like fall in Seattle! In celebration I
decided to throw on my new corduroy’s and a cardigan, turned up my new
“Carpenters Gold: 35<sup>th</sup> Anniversary Edition” album (AKA fall
soundtrack) and bought myself a Pumpkin Spice latte. I know, I’m so Seattle
right now and I’m loving it.<br />
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This whole week has actually been really great because
Robbie and myself both got jobs! I started work at a small design company
called “Black Tip Media” and Robbie got offered a position with some company
doing whatever it is people with biochemistry degrees do. The jobs couldn’t
have come at a more opportune time because I had come to the point where I was
wondering how next month’s rent was going to get paid. To make ends meet during
this whole shit show of a job search Robbie had taken a job at the Walgreen’s
pharmacy and I was working as a server at a Mexican restaurant called “Uncle
Julio’s”. I’d never been a server before (although that’s not the story I gave
the person who hired me) but seeing as I grew up in Eastern Washington I felt
that Mexican food would be right up my alley even if I wasn’t working at a taco truck. Turns out I
am sooooo not cut out to be a server. I was a stressed out mess every shift I
worked and everybody had to keep reminding me to smile. Smile?? Really?? What’s there to smile about
when you’re working a customer service job that pays $2.15 an hour plus
minuscule tips that would hardly be enough to buy me a margarita after my shift
to ease the pain. The worst part of the whole situation was I had to shave my
face every day before my shift, which was an inconvenience and I felt so naked/exposed with my shaved baby face. I mean ever since No-Shave November of
2006 there have been very few times I’ve gone without my scruff so I guess it’s
kinda become part of my identity. Plus every time I passed a mirror I would
become startled because I didn’t recognize myself. So when my new boss Kevin offered me the new
job I pretty much broke down into tears of pure happiness. Pure happiness at
the thought that I’d be able to put my beard trimmer back to use and pure
happiness at the thought that never again would I have to ask the customers
sitting in my section if they wanted green, red, or sour cream sauce on their
chicken enchilada.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So far my newfound life as a young business professional is
off to a great start. I mean there was really nowhere to go but up but I feel
really blessed to have this job. There are moments where I really can’t believe
that I get paid to sit down, listen to show tunes, wear cute and trendy work
clothes and create art all day! Plus my boss buys me donuts and Sonic happy
hour slushies on a regular basis. WINNING! There are days it can get pretty
intense though, especially when we are working on several projects and trying
to get them finished as quickly as possible. It’s only been two weeks and my
face is already breaking out from stress of a big boy job. Side note: I’m
really kicking myself for years ago not taking my dermatologist up on her offer
to prescribe me Accutane. If I could turn back time…<o:p></o:p></div>
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The biggest non-perk of the new job is the fact that I have
to commute to suburbia (suburgatory if you will) every morning. The town itself
is called Carrolton and it’s big claim to fame is that it’s where Robert
Matthew Van Winkle, more commonly known as Vanilla Ice, was born and raised.
The drive itself wouldn’t be that bad except I have very little respect for
Texans when it comes to their driving capabilities. I’ve never seen so many traffic accidents in my life or traffic jams that appear to be happening for no reason. Now I’ve somehow managed to make it through my quarter
century of life without ever being in a
fender bender *knocks on wood*<b> </b>but I’m thinking my time is coming. It almost seems unavoidable,
especially since the main highway I take to work every morning looks like a two
lane highway that they somehow squeezed a third lane into. It's scary. The commute would be
made more bearable if my iPod hadn’t plunged to it’s watery grave the weekend
before the new job started. The last/swan song played was “ Monster” by Gaga
before being dropped into a half cup of melted ice from one of my countless
interview that got me nothing but a cluttered inbox full of messages saying “At
this time, another qualified candidate has been selected for this position”. I
attempted to revive said Ipod by putting it into a tub of rice for 4 days and
although the power still works, the touch screen function is long gone and
therefore completely useless. You’d think Steve Jobs (may he rest in peace)
could have taken a little more time making these things water proof. Instead I‘m left with an iPod that would cost as much to fix as it would be to buy a
completely new one. So for the present, I’m back to living my not so distant
2003 life where cd mixes were the rage.
Another side note: I’ve been reduced to listening to the radio on days
that I’m bored of my mixes, and I swear to God if I hear Pumped Up Kicks or
Last Friday Night one more time I may be forced to do something drastic. Like
join a monastery.<o:p></o:p><br />
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In honor of the changing of seasons, here is a very under-rated pop gem by Britney. Happy Fall Ya'll!<br />
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<br /></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-77520246580465783222011-09-02T17:44:00.006-05:002012-04-12T16:07:33.203-05:00Strangers on a Plane<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last weekend the fates threw me a bone and gave me a weekend escape from Dallas. Thank goodness, because I was in serious need of a getaway. The destination was beautiful San Diego where my cousin John was getting married. This was perfect because the smell of the ocean and the feeling of a nice cool breeze had become nothing but a foggy and very distant memory. One thing that I was most looking forward to was the plane ride to the golden coast. Not sure what it is but I just love the chance to fly somewhere. Maybe it’s the free drinks, the thrill of being a mile above the earth, the hour spent browsing the pages of sky mall as I update my Christmas list? The jury is still out on that one. Regardless, few things make me happier than a window seat with my ipod shuffling through my current pop music obsessions. The one drawback to it all is my fellow passengers and seeing as I don’t have a budget for my own private plane just yet, I have to make the best of flying coach. I’m not really one to chat or even acknowledge the existence of the person sitting next to me on a plane. That is, unless I’ve had a few too many cran-apple cocktails and need the person seated next to me to put their tray tables in their upright position and get the hell out of the way before I wet myself. </div>
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<o:p></o:p>This round-trip from DFW to SAN presented me with a variety of interesting characters. Passenger number one was seated in the window seat and had his sunglasses on for a majority of the flight. The plane left the Dallas runway around 6:30 PM so I didn’t really understand the need for them and I’m sorry, but unless you’re Lenny Kravitz or Nicole Richie, you just come off looking like a douchebag. He also wasn’t winning any popularity points with me when he put the window shade down before we’d even left the runway. It’s not like I was going to be getting any breathtaking views of mountains, bodies of water, or dare to dream an evergreen tree, as we took off, but I wouldn’t have minded watching the sunset since I seem to be averaging 2 plane rides a year. We were 10 minutes from touching down at my layover in Phoenix when the pilot came in over the intercom to tell us that we would most likely have to circle the area for an hour before a torrential dust storm in Phoenix subsided or we simply ran out of jet fuel. I assumed the people at the airport were being a tad bit over-dramatic at what was probably two tumble weeds and a dust devil that had crossed a runway. Praise be to God our pilot found a window of opportunity to land the plane just minutes ahead of the storm. In all honesty it was pretty crazy to look out the window, my neighbor had finally raised the shade and taken off his sunglasses, and see this enormous wall of dust heading straight towards the airport. I felt a little like Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” when her world is all sepia. I was even about to play some “Over the Rainbow” on my IPod, purely for dramatic effect, but the nosy stewardess told me I had to prepare for the landing and turn off all electrical devices.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I finally made it to San Diego and was quickly reminded of everything that the city of Dallas lacks. It has beaches, a fun and trendy downtown area, outdoor activites that don’t involve the Sonic drive-thru, inhabitants who can leave their homes in the middle of the day without the fear of melting…etc., etc. The only complaint I had was that for being located in sunny California and roughly 10 minutes from Mexico it sure was cold! I mean a day at the beach really isn’t the same when you’re wearing a hooded sweatshirt and shaking uncontrollably as you lie on the towel you “borrowed” from the hotel. Granted the 110-degree weather here in Dallas hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park and I‘m getting a little sick of walking into an interview with my back feeling like I just stepped off of the Splash Mountain ride at Disneyland. All that aside, it’s always nice to go back to your roots and spend some quality time with the family.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On the flight back home I was excited to see that I was given a aisle seat which meant I could have as many inflight drinks as my little heart desired, without worrying about being a bother to my neighbors during my frequent visits to the bathroom. Side note: why did no one ever tell me that the drink options of the airlines were printed on the back of the inflight magazine??? This could have saved me approximately 18 minutes of my life that I’ve wasted playing 20 questions with the flight attendants regarding my limited drink options. Plus, I could have been cutting down on calories by ordering Sprite Zeros vs. Sprite. This was almost as much of an epiphany as the day I realized that the squiggly lines on the Arby’s sign are in fact in the shape of a cowboy hat. Or the day that someone broke the news to me that Col. Sanders of KFC fame was not the chubby nearsighted Asian man with a goatee that I had been led to believe for the past 21 years. I am still a little skeptical on that one, unless his squinty eyes are a result of him being incredibly light sensitive? Which I could totally relate. And for the record I am not being racist. As a child, I too was mistaken for being an adopted Asian child around the time I was around 14 months. Understandably so, seeing as I had a gnarly bowl cut, was a little on the chubby side, and 99% of the time had the look on my face that I was mid fart which resulted in my squinty eyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I walked onto my final connecting flight, I saw to my horror every travelers worst nightmare. Yup. I had been seated next to a mom and her two babies. The first thing she said to me once I sat down was “I just want to apologize ahead of time for whatever happens during these next two hours”. Translation: Good luck catching some Z’s on this flight. The one thing that made the situation better were they were two of the cutest kids I’d ever seen. I accredit this to the fact that I’ve never seen an African-American baby that I didn’t think was cute and all I kept thinking was why were they on this flight to Dallas?! If they had been my kids they would have been hard at work on location with Annie Liebovitz doing a photo-shoot for the fall Baby Gap campaign and talking to Suri Cruise on their cell phones during their breaks. Tomato, tomato. For the record, the kids were actually really well behaved for the flight even though I wasn’t able to catch the catnap I had hoped for. Baby #1 was probably 3 months old and having some serious gas issues that kept bringing Taco Bell burritos to mind….and not in a good way. Baby #2, who I guess would qualify as more of a toddler, had of fear of heights and 2.5 seconds after take off he let all of us around him know how he felt. It wasn’t long before his mom shut the window shade so that we could pretend we were on a greyhound bus heading for Dallas. I was a bit perturbed because seriously, what does everybody have against watching a sunset from an airplane??? But the craziest thing of all is that after spending a few days away, I was *gasp* starting to miss Dallas?? How did this happen? Must be the heat getting to me.<o:p></o:p></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-27146596706123741002011-08-12T14:01:00.004-05:002011-12-03T00:09:11.005-06:00My Oh So A-List Life in Dallas<div class="MsoNormal">
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It’s been two weeks since Robbie and I first set foot onto Dallas soil and at this point all we really have to show for it are a few tan lines and a few empty In N Out rappers left from our excessive weekly visits. Whoever wrote that USA article with the headline “Need a Job? Move to Texas” seriously has a sick sense of humor. Turns out jobs don’t just grow on trees down here like the article had suggested. Part of the problem may be that I’m being a little picky at this point because I’m really not ready to go back to a retail job, especially since my soul has finally recovered from working the Macy’s holiday season last Christmas. It’s just too soon. Robbie actually had a job for about a week but he quit this morning because he just couldn’t handle the thought of serving tables again. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Last week we had a minor freak out moment as we were laying by the pool wondering how we were going to pay for our next Lean Cuisine. In the moment of panic Robbie decided we should try applying for work as actors. I had my initial reservations but was encouraged by the fact that I had just watched the E! True Hollywood Story of Selena Gomez who turns out was actually discovered by Talent Scouts in Dallas! And seriously, what’s she got that I ain’t got…..ok….aside from teen heart throb and the voice of our generation who goes by the name of Justin Bieber??? We saw on Craigslist that a film company was in search of young, attractive, local, talent. Obviously we felt we were overqualified for the positons but we figured it was still worth a shot. Only downside was it was a Vampire movie with the working title of “Vamps”. Super lame but everybody has to start somewhere. Robbie read for the role of the lead brooding male character named Nick and I read for the part of the Colt. I don’t like to brag but we kinda nailed it. Granted it took a few retakes on the webcam due to our random breakdown into school girl giggles over how terrible the script was. Here’s the scene we read for and all I can say is brace yourself for some writing that makes The Hills look like a Pulitzer Prize winning literary masterpiece.</div>
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NICK <o:p></o:p></div>
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You're not going to believe me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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COLT</div>
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Try me. This screwed up world never ceases to amaze me.</div>
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NICK</div>
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Vampires. <o:p></o:p></div>
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COLT</div>
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Vampires? <o:p></o:p></div>
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NICK</div>
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It's true! I'm not crazy! They've been after me my whole life!</div>
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COLT</div>
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Those three guys? <o:p></o:p></div>
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NICK</div>
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Not them, them. But others like them. They found me in this town, again.</div>
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COLT</div>
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How do you know they're vampires? I didn't see any fangs.</div>
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NICK</div>
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Trust me. They are. They also show up in mirrors. Don't trust movies. Or books. That's all fiction.</div>
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COLT</div>
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Still. How do you know? <o:p></o:p></div>
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NICK</div>
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They've been after me since they killed my parents years ago. They've left me messages from time to time--</div>
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COLT</div>
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Messages? <o:p></o:p></div>
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NICK</div>
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Yes. Like the killings at the hotel. Those were messages for me!</div>
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I don’t know if ya’ll have heard but Dallas is kinda turning into the new LA. In other words, I couldn’t have moved at a better time because they are currently filming three different shows here in town, which is great because I love to have options. First, there’s the revamp of the classic show "Dallas", then there’s the “Most Eligible Dallas” which follows around a group of single men and women, and then there’s "The A-List: Dallas". With all this going on around me, how could I not be discovered??? Just like Lana Turner was discovered at Scwabb’s Drug Store, I’m pretty sure any day now some big Hollywood agent will spot me out of the corner of his eye as I make my way to the counter for my free Tall Starbucks Black Iced Tea refill. I’m on the verge of my big break. On the edge of glory! It’s obviously the reason God brought me to Dallas.</div>
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Being surrounded by the flashing lights of paparazzi and rubbing elbows with celebrities is something that I’ve grown very accustomed to during fast paced life as a Walla Walla socialite. Prepare yourself from some major name droppin. Did Tanya from the Real World have her Senior pictures taken in my back yard? Yes. Did I make eye contact with Josh Duhamel in the Vatican during my European travels? Yes. Did I wait at the same baggage carousel at SEATAC as Toby McGuire, also known as Spiderman? Yes. And last Saturday, did I meet and possibly offend a current cast member of the The A-List: Dallas? HELL TO THE YEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!! My first run in with said Dallas celebrity happened last Saturday night. It was my first night out on the town and I was hanging out with some friends around a pool table at a local bar when this guy who’s name I would later find out was Chase put his designer man bag down on the pool table next to us. It happened to be in the spot where my friend Zack had been sitting so I politely and eloquently yelled, “HEY! Could you move you’re Claire’s bag so my friend can sit here?!?!” Chase got a tad bit defensive over my insinuation that his bag had been purchased at every teenage girls favorite store known as Claire’s and he worked himself into a lil tizzy telling us Lord knows what brand it was and much it cost. Blah blah blah. Don’t care. Bored by the story. Talk to the hand. Then along comes my friend Philip who it turns out knows the guy and quickly explains to me he’s a cast member of The A-List: Dallas. I immediately go in for damage control and turn on the charm with the hope that I’ll be invited to become a witty reoccurring cast member on the show. I’m still waiting for the Evite on that but Chase did say they are filming the show for the next 2 months and that he would try to let me know the next time they need extras for background scenes. So don’t change that channel, because I may be coming to a living room near you, real soon, in High Definition!<o:p></o:p></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-65191726212423380842011-08-04T12:28:00.004-05:002011-08-04T12:44:45.490-05:00I'm in Texas Ya'll!!!!<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Howdy ya’ll. I’m coming to you live from the brand spankin new headquarters of ROBSESSED. That’s right. Dallas, Texas – or more specifically, a blow up twin-sized mattress in a dark, tiny room with a window covered in Reynold’s Wrap to keep out the sunlight. But don’t worry, I am not being held hostage in Bart and Brett’s apartment. This is all consensual because I really did choose to move here even though every person I told beforehand informed me I was crazy. It’s been a week since the new roomie Robbie Baker and I took one last look at Walla Walla in the rearview mirror as we set out on some lost highways (Jess Miller, I did this reference for you) towards the great state of Texas!</div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So here I am, 1,789 miles later. It was a pretty smooth trip for the most part. I had a bit of an uneasy feeling most of the drive because there seemed to be an alarmingly large of amount of traffic heading in the complete opposite direction of Texas while Robbie and I were usually the only two cars for miles heading south. Was there something people weren’t telling us? The drive was boring as hell for a majority of the ride. Don’t even get me started Wyoming. All I can say is thank God for Little America and its 50-cent cones. Luckily Robbie and I both have Verizon cell plans so we were able to talk on the phone for hours on end without worrying about using up our minutes. The original plan had been to use walkie talkies as a form of communication but they got packed away with the UHAUL with the Karaoke machine so our homage to the 90’s didn’t end up happening. Another bump along the way happened 5 minutes from the Oklahoma border when I was allegedly speeding through a 35 MPH zone at an alarming rate of 45 MPH. Again, I stress that these are pure allegations.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Robbie was hot on my tail with the UHAUL when I looked behind me to see the all too familiar glow of red and blue lights. Robbie was most likely texting, reading a book, or falling asleep at the wheel during this time because we drove about 2 miles before he even noticed the cop. I was torn between pulling over with him or driving on a head. I chose the latter because I wasn’t about to give this Colorado cop a 2 for 1 special, I was in serious need of a power nap, and I had packed away my Geico Insurance cards so if the cop got all chatty Cathy and up in my business I would have been screwed. The second run in with the law happened later that night just as we were pulling into Dallas at the ungodly hour of 3:30 am. I was completely delusional and reciting monologues from NPR at this point to keep me from losing it when once again, the all too familiar glow of red and blue lights came on. This time I was completely not at fault because Robbie had forgotten to put on his blinker when changing lanes. Before I knew it Robbie was facedown on the ground in handcuffs while the police officer searched through our UHAUL with the accusation that we were smuggling illegal aliens in our 8 x10 trailer. The main giveaway that two white boys from Seattle were obviously human trafficking was the fact that our tags were expired. And when I say expired I mean they expired in 1996. How this minor and vitally important detail had gone unnoticed by UHAUL Enterprises for the past 15 years will always remain a mystery.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">All that drama aside, you will all be pleased to know that Robbie and I are fun, flirty, and thriving down here in Dallas. It’s incredibly different from the big city yankee life I’ve grown accustomed to in the Pacific Northwest and I still have a lot to learn but here are a few lessons learned so far:<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">1.Never under any circumstance should one attempt to use chapstick that has been sitting in a car for hours on end in 110 degree weather. It will only result in second degree burns and leave you looking like you just made out with a glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut. Just trust me on this one.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">2. Never attend a pool party unless you’ve been given a 24 hour notice. Robbie and I were invited to our first pool party approximately 1 hour before it was planned to start which coincidentally was the morning that I decided to go on a carb binge and devour a plate of spaghetti, a bagel, and a bowl of cheerios all before 11 am. Sadly I attended my first pool party with a food baby that made me look like I’d just entered my 3<sup>rd</sup> trimester, which wasn’t exactly the kind of splash I was hoping to make.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">3. Never go through the 4 lane drive thru line at the local In n Out on a day when there is a heat advisory of 110 degrees and the local news anchor tells you not to leave your home even if an intruder with a knife breaks in. Robbie and I thought we were stronger than these pansy Texans who couldn’t handle a little heat and set out for our favorite fast food restaurant. Before we knew it the car had overheated and was utterly incapable of producing air conditioning. We of course were stuck in the drive through line at this point with sweat flowing down our bodies like Niagara Falls. I was about to pass out at the wheel when we miraculously pulled up to the pick up window. We had ordered 5 different beverages and I voraciously took giant gulps out of each one as I passed them over to Robbie who by that point was unresponsive and had the grip of a newborn kitten. Luckily we were in his car so it wasn’t my problem if the strawberry milkshake fell onto the upholstery.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Once we got our food we made the decision to make a run for it into the In n Out where after being revived by the friendly staff enjoyed a lovely air conditioned meal.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--UWyXemtUTU/TjrXbfBc_pI/AAAAAAAAAFE/XQ8f-5Fc8t0/s400/288533_546805101604_57300158_31252265_5312757_o.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637054750791630482" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">In more important news, I would like to draw your attention to the above picture. This is my GOOD friend Maddie. Yesterday, Maddie drove two hours out of her way with the sole purpose of seeing my smiling face BECAUSE SHE’S A GOOD FRIEND. Take notes people, real friends visit their friends who are stranded in Texas without enough money in the bank to afford a one-way ticket back to Washington. Thanks Maddie. You’re the best. Also, in case you were wondering, Robbie and I will be moving into our new, adorable, 1950’s apartment next week where the floor, coffee table, and bathtub will always be available for visitors and weary travelers who need a place to sleep. See ya’ll real soon <span style="font-family:Wingdings;mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings;">J</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Wingdings;mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; ">P.S. A special thanks goes out to: Jess Miller, Lauren Suerth, George and Cathy, Adrian Fry, and the Widstrom Family who all provided Robbie and myself with food and shelter during our longer journey. Love you all!</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-6780851615156481272011-06-21T14:00:00.003-05:002011-06-21T14:13:03.069-05:00Back to the Fruistand III<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vze7hNLM4ZM/TgDrkGJha-I/AAAAAAAAAE8/q--SWuJDzX0/s1600/love-my-fruit.bmp" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 350px; height: 276px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vze7hNLM4ZM/TgDrkGJha-I/AAAAAAAAAE8/q--SWuJDzX0/s400/love-my-fruit.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620751340316748770" /></a> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">Well. I sure didn’t see this coming, but we are in a recession so I suppose nothing as far as job opportunities should surprise me at this point. Heck, at this point I could see myself dressed up as the Statue of Liberty and waving my sign along the streets of Ballard as I lure passers by into Liberty Tax Service for a free consultation. In other words, I got my old job back at the fruit stand. After going to college for 4 years and getting a degree you really hope that you don’t end up back at your first job. However, due to my lack of other options and that fact that if I had to ask one more non English speaking person who forgot their ID at “home”(AKA Tijuana) if they wanted to join the Macy’s Star Rewards Program I may have gone plum loco.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s really not so bad being back. I started the job in early April after my old boss called me up because he had heard from my old coworker Charlotte that I was looking for work. After explaining the position he told me exactly why I would be great for the job. “Well Rob, I know you won’t steal from me. The old women who come in to the store just love you. And you’re under the age of 60.” This may be the only time in my life where I am practically over qualified for a job. How could I refuse?? Plus he offered to pay me more than Macy’s, and money talks. Also, the thought of getting my arms back in shape was a rather appealing thought. You see a big part of my day at work revolves around me scooping ice cream for the customers, which gives the old gun show quite a work out. Well, at least my right arm that I scoop with is slowly getting back to Michelle Obama arms status. The left arm still looks about as solid as a pile of undercooked pancakes. Luckily, watermelon season is coming up which will hopefully evenly tone everything out.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My one big fear with taking the job was thought of what it would do to my waistline. You see, although on the outside I may appear bronzed and toned with an eight-pack you could bounce quarters off of, deep inside I am secretly a fat kid. Thus being surrounded by tons of candies, cheeses, salami, and the best ice cream in the world (Upqua to be precise) can prove challenging. All I can say is God bless the woman who invented spanks. The first summer I worked at the fruit stand I consumed roughly a quart of Huckleberry Chessecake/ Pralines N’ Cream a day which caused me to gain roughly 10-15 pounds in less than 2 months. It wasn’t pretty and I have tried to limit myself to one to 2.5 scoops a week but I don’t know how much longer I can keep up this sort of self control.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">One of the things that really drove me crazy about my last job at Macy’s were the high maintenance customers who seemed to flock to my check out stand like a moth to the flame. And although it’s definitely less of a problem these days I still get to deal with the joys of retail. The biggest problem with the fruit stand is having to on a daily basis explain the whole bathroom situation to a bunch of female overactive bladders. You wouldn’t believe the looks women have given me when I tell them that our restroom is a portable located in the parking lot. They always give me these disgusted and shocked looks as they slowly walk away shaking their heads.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I don’t get it!? I mean what’s really the big deal. You’d think I was asking them to pop a squat outside against the Maple Tree and use the fallen leaves as toilet paper?! Come one people. There are kids in third world countries who give up their pair of brand new TOMS shoes to have that honey bucket as their bathroom so let’s take a chill pill and don’t forget to use the hand sanitizer on your way out. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Aside from el banjo, there’s always gonna be that one person who’s unhappy with our products. The other day a man came in with a more than half eaten bag of caramel pecan popcorn and before slamming it down on the counter he had he audacity to tell me that he had bought it yesterday and that it “tasted old”. Considering the fact that he himself was old and had taste buds that probably have less than 5% of battery life left in them I assumed he was just looking for a freebie and I was not about to give in. After several seconds of awkward eye contact I think he started to read between the lines that I wasn’t about to just give him a new bag. So I asked him if he minded if I try it. I told him I found it to be delicious and quickly finished the rest of the bag before he stormed out without as much of a “enjoy your evening” or “thanks for your help”.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Of course now that I think about it that was probably a poor life choice. He definitely isn’t a regular and he totally could have roofied the caramel corn, thus causing me to wake up in an old grain elevator with my brand new pair of Keen's nowhere to be found, 52 missed calls, 35 voicemails, and 10 picture messages of Elly sleeping. All from my mother, of course. Let’s be real, you just can’t trust anyone these days...even if they do look like they’re a member of the Country Club.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Shortly after this incident another old man and his son came in. After asking the man several times if he needed help finding anything and being blatantly ignored, the son told me that his dad was looking for a tomato plant. Something had obviously crawled up the old man’s butt and died that morning and I almost asked him if maybe that’s where his beloved tomato plant had gone but held my tongue because I can’t afford to lose this job. “Sorry we’re totally out of those right now”, I politely explained. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“But Kmart is about a mile down the road and they have wonderful lawn and garden center with quite a selection” The old man whipped around and retorted,” Now you know g-damn well that Kmart’s got nothin’ but shitty plants that ain’t gonna do squat once you plant them in the ground. “Well actually I didn’t know that” I replied. “I’ve actually always been a big fan of the blue light specials, and in fact I just found a beautiful pin striped pant suit from the Kathy Ireland Collection last weekend that’s just to die for. Forget the fact that it’s a thread count of 20 that feels like a burlap sack against my skin, because I haven’t had this many compliments since I bought my size 6 Gloria Vanderbuilt shorts at a random Goodwill in Alabama!” <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">If you haven’t noticed yet, I deal with a lot of old people on a daily basis. I would say that nearly 50% of my customers are over the age of 65. Most of them require a shopping cart, not to fill with food items mind you, but because without it they would collapse onto the floor within two steps down the antique isle. I keep telling my boss we could make a fortune selling tennis balls for all of our regulars to put on their walkers. I could even bedazzle them on really slow days….he’s not totally sold on the idea, but give it time and he will see the light. More often than not my interactions with these adorable old men and women can lead to nothing but hilarious/confusing conversations. Conversations such as women telling me how much they would love to buy a bag of salt water taffy but they know their husbands will find it and they just can’t afford to buy them any more crowns for their teeth. Then there was the lady with her toy poodle who for no reason whatsoever felt it was necessary to convince me that her dog absolutely loved asparagus. After several moments of practically shoving a whole stalk of asparagus down the dog’s throat, it proceeded to regurgitate his so called favorite vegetable all over my recently mopped floor. I was not amused. One of my recent and enlightening convos happened as I was scooping some ice cream and the woman waiting in line was explaining to me in a very concerned and alarmed voice that Mexicans are taking over McDonald’s. She was adamant that the white people who needed those jobs at the drive thru window were being thrown to the curb due to this underground Latino based conspiracy. I proceeded to give her directions to the nearest Red Box where I gave her specific instructions to rent the documentaries “A Day Without A Mexican” and of course “Super Size Me” cuz gurrls not doing herself any favors by having a sausage McMuffin every day of the week.<o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-56983275380571342902011-05-16T00:48:00.009-05:002012-04-26T12:40:38.120-05:00Elly & I<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iNYwa-hN8q4/TdDBdzZ_mgI/AAAAAAAAAEw/mx8zAK9lHVI/s1600/dogshows.jpg"></a><br />
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It’s happened. My prayers were answered. Either that or my parents are experiencing the early onset of dementia. Regardless, I have a Wire Haired Pointing Griffon puppy named Elly Mae Sesser. Well, she’s not just mine, it’s “the families” but let’s be real, I’m obviously the most fun person in the group and therefore her favorite. I’m honestly still in a state of shock that my parents decided to get another dog, Especially after they swore seven years ago when they got rid of the two dogs I had grown up with to never get another. Their names were Jasmine and Lady, and yes growing up I did name all of my animals after characters from whatever happened to be my current favorite movie…i.e. Lady and the Tramp, and Aladdin. I usually stuck with the Disney theme except for when I named my first goldfish Curly. You know, in reference to the main character from the Broadway Rogers and Hammerstein smash hit musical known as Oklahoma??? Yeah. I was a big fan at the age of seven. What can I say? I matured early in life. So seeing as this was going to be my Dad’s dog I figured I should let him name it, especially since my current favorite Disney movie is Tangled and I don’t know how I feel yelling out the name Rapunzel on a crowded street. My dad played around with the idea of naming her Francy for a while but on the drive back from her birthplace of Yelm, Washington, we both felt that Elly was a better fit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve always been a dog person for as long as I can remember. Cats just weren’t my thing. The first of two cats we had growing up was named Feliz and she was an absolute terror. That mean ol’ furball used to hide around corners just waiting for me to come walking by, minding my own damn business, before she would jump out and attack me without warning. This usually caused me to drop the raspberries I had spent all morning collecting which then sent me into a fit of tears and muffled sobs as a lay in the fetal position surrounded by a crimson pool of raspberry juice. I was a little dramatic in those days. Then there was Amy. Too be honest I did enjoy having her around. She loved to be petted and you always knew when you were scratching her favorite spots because she would start to salivate at an alarming rate. Things didn’t end too well with Amy because after she went missing for a week I happened to stumble across the remnants of a calico tail and two hind feet that in their mangled state look all too familiar. Damn possums. I’m still attending counseling sessions to help me get past this traumatic event. Thus you can see why I’ve stuck with dogs. Growing up in a small rural town, I was actively involved in the group known as 4-H and I decided to give the whole dog show thing a try. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I will say that Jasmine and I did pretty well back in the day. Yes, you may have read in the papers that we were the Grand Champions at the 1996 Walla Walla County Fair Dog Show. And yes, I was wearing an original fitted vest made by my mother that had fabric with puppies all over it that felt like it could have been used to reupholster a dining room chair. Fit like a freakin glove. The best part about dog shows was that sometimes the local television news stations would come by and take footage of Jasmine and I. Well mainly Jasmine. It usually resulted in full body shots of Jasmine while only my butt in my super tapered 90’s jeans was seen. Hey, like I’ve said before, I’ll take any sort of 15 minute of fame I can get.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Back to the present, life with Elly in the beginning was so easy. She was travel size. Easy to lift. Slept 23 hours out of the day. Enjoyed cuddling and waching Disney animated movies with me. She showed signs of understanding that we appreciated it when she peed and pooped in the grass OUTSIDE. Every single thing that she did was out of control cute. Even her little puppy farts made me giggle. Myyyyy oooh Myyyyyyy how quickly things change. These days I feel like a single mother raising a bipolar autistic child. SHE. IS. OUT. OF. CONTROL. She’s got what you might call an oral fixation in that she’s constantly trying to puncture skin. Be it me, mama, papa, grandma, small child on the playground with baby fingers that appeared to be appetizers. We seriously don’t even know what to do about it at this point. We shut her mouth and grab her loose neck skin, which is what her Vet instructed us to do. We pin her down. We yell NOOOOO! We give her a time out in the kennel. Er’thing. Doesn’t give a damn. I’m on the verge of having to buy a Costco size bottle of Neosporin to keep up with the lacerations my poor body has suffered from her constant biting. The night before Easter Sunday she decided it would be cute to slash my forehead with her razor sharp teeth thus leaving me with my already bruised and battered body looking like a victim of domestic abuse. Luckily mom let me borrow some of her foundation so unless you were really close during the meet and greet at the Easter Service I don’t think you could really tell. But still. Ever since the whole thing happened with Rihanna and Chris Brown, people talk.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now it’s not like its been all bad. She does have her moments. It has been fun having a copilot who doesn’t complain about my latest pop music fixation. She also just discovered the awesomeness of sticking her head out the window as I drive down the road. Unfortunately she doesn’t realize that if she falls out the window I won’t be able to catch her and she will die. Therefore I keep a pretty tight hold on her collar. She definitely loves people, although she has strange ways of showing it, and she always comes running up to me to have her chubby belly rubbed whenever I come home from work. She’s totally infatuated by my morning ritual of making drip coffee and one of these days I need to give her a sip so she realizes she’s not missing out on anything. Lately she’s become incredibly good as schmoozing it up whenever she gets scolded for doing something wrong. She’ll always retreat to her bed and look at you from across the room with those sad puppy dog eyes that make her look like her heart will explode into a million pieces if you don’t forgive her. It’s just so hard to stay made at her for long. But these days the thing I enjoy the most about Elly is our Hulu.com date nights where she is content to just sit on my lap as we watch episodes of Modern Family till our abs hurt from laughing. We both agreed that Mitchell’s comedic timing in the Lady Gaga episode was 110% dead on. Our only complaint would be the limited commercial interruptions concerning kids with cancer. I mean really Hulu??? Is it too much to ask for 20 minutes of ignorant bliss from the cold cruel world we live in where kids lose legs from cancer and can no longer ride their bicycles?????? <o:p></o:p></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-85783502345281860942011-03-23T16:44:00.007-05:002011-03-23T17:21:02.204-05:00Elizabeth Taylor<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_7Yl6EiElvM/TYpr7kejpaI/AAAAAAAAAEI/U-OvUrZu9Ok/s1600/Picture%2B57.png"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 255px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587396958854817186" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_7Yl6EiElvM/TYpr7kejpaI/AAAAAAAAAEI/U-OvUrZu9Ok/s320/Picture%2B57.png" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal">If you’ve browsed through any news source today you may have noticed that Elizabeth Taylor passed away this morning. I found out once when I saw the front page of CNN and as usual when I hear of a classic Hollywood stars passing I quickly slipped into a moment of intense grief and mourning. I don’t know what it is but whenever one of those old movie stars pass away I get all crazy emotional and it’s a total buzz kill to my day. You should have seen me on the days that Deborah Kerr and Charlton Heston passed away. I WAS A WRECK. A stranger would have thought they were my grandparents or something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>This just goes to show that I wasn’t joking when I ‘ve claimed to have an unhealthy fascination with all things pop culture and celebrity. All I’m saying is that the day Britney Spears kicks it I will NOT be attending my daily game of Bingo at my retirement home in Palm Springs. Lord willing I go first because I’m not sure if my heart could take the pain.<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">So normally during these dark times I crave a good movie marathon as a way of remembering the movie legends and I’ve found it’s a healthy way to channel my grieving. Now since my parents are still using rabbit ears to get the news, I obviously won’t be tuning into the 24 Hour TCM Elizabeth Taylor marathon *Sigh* :’(. However we already have quite a few movies of hers and I even went out and rented <em>Cleopatra</em> and <em>Butterfield 8</em>, which I’ve never seen before so I’m super stoked. I was really hoping to add <em>National Velvet</em> to the marathon but after spending most of my morning scouring the shelves of Shopko, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Bi-Mart, Hot Poop, and the public library I came out empty handed. It’s days like this that I loathe living in a small town because we have no selection! I was really surprised that Bi-Mart didn’t have it because 90% of their movies have a horse or John Wayne on the cover. I will give them this, they obviously know who their target audience is these days. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">The main reason that I had my heart set on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">National Velvet</i> is because it’s one of the first movies I remember seeing as a young tyke and and it was also the first movie starring Elizabeth Taylor. Even though it's been like 20 years I remember being super into it. I mean how could you not be? Elizabeth Taylor? Mickey Rooney? Angela Lansbury pre-animated teapot fame??? My first viewing of the movie was also around the time my mom’s favorite scent was White Diamonds by Elizabeth Taylor, what can I say she’s a classy lady, and I totally got it for her as a Christmas present one year. Since those days I’ve become much more acquainted with her film work such as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Little Women</i>, in which she is absolutely hilarious. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">A Place in a Sun</i>, which is super good and she looks AMAZING and it stars one of my other favs, Montgomery Clift. Then there’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Giant</i>, where she stars alongside Rock Hudson and James Dean. Another fav would be Cat on a <i>Hot Tin Roof</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> which was written by Tennessee Williams so how could it not be good?? </span>But I really think the quintessential Liz movie would have to be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s just so different from anything she ever did and it’s also what got her a second Academy Award. If you haven't seen any of these movies I've mentioned, shame on you. Fix it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Now that I think about it I guess I can’t recall a time of life when I didn’t know about Liz which I guess is why a feel a tinge of sadness with her passing. It’s strange how we can grow attached to people we’ve never met. I remember hearing about a man who was interviewed in some documentary about film addicts and he said that the day Audrey Hepburn died was worse than when he’s lost family members. HOW CRAZY IS THAT! Hopefully I don’t ever get to that point….. however I will forever love Liz and be fascinated by her life. Her work as an artist. Her Beauty. Those violet eyes. Her private life dramas. And I mean I know that she made some poor life choices, eight marriages was a bit obsessive, but I mean we’ve all made mistakes. Above all else, I do truly admire her for the work she did raising money and awareness for the fight against AIDS during a time when people were very judgmental and unsympathetic to those affected by the disease.</p><p class="MsoNormal">RIP LIZ. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>You rock my socks off.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6996768380088216503.post-32742225865513247252011-03-17T14:16:00.009-05:002012-01-04T08:26:40.547-06:00Idaho<div style="text-align: left;">
Just got back from a 24 hour road trip to Boise, Idaho and it was a true delight. Due to the fact that the Walla Walla airport couldn’t convince enough people to take a direct flight to Boise on a daily basis, me and Lo (<a href="http://robsesser.blogspot.com/2011/02/rest-is-still-unwritten.html">my new car</a>) had to drive it. I had my reservations about making the 4 and a half hour journey because the last time I drove to Idaho I was pretty certain I was about to meet my maker. This was back in 2005 when my friends Heather, Michael, Meagan and I had all planned a Christmas road trip. The plan was to all meet in Nampa, Idaho where Meagan’s family lived and from there head to McCall to hit the ski slopes at Brundage Mountain Resort. This was the Christmas where I worked at <a href="http://robsesser.blogspot.com/2011/06/back-to-fruistand-iii.html">Klicker’s Fruit Stand</a> selling Christmas trees so I had to join the gang a few days later. Fortunately, at that time there actually was a flight from Walla Walla to Boise. Unfortunately, Walla Walla is in a constant state of fog during the winter, so of course my flight got cancelled. This upset me because I was really looking forward to the some mile high free time. I had just bought Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and was looking forward to hopping on the Hogwarts bandwagon. And if you know me at all you’ll know that it takes a Christmas miracle/ a stack of Bernstein Bear books to get me excited about reading so time was of the essence. Due to events out of my control I never had a chance to read the book, but I did see the movie. Which is basically the same thing, right??<br />
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With the cancelled flight I was left with no choice but to drive to Idaho, which my parents were not at all thrilled to hear. I was a lot more fearless when it came to winter driving back in those days. I attribute this to the fact that it occurred before the Christmas Break of ‘06 near death experience. It all went down a little bit outside of Ellensburg, WA on my way back to Seattle. Snow was coming down like crazy and the roads were incredibly slippy and nearly every five minutes you passed a car stuck in a snow bank. So there I was, driving <a href="http://robsesser.blogspot.com/2010/11/burt.html">Burt</a>, just minding my own business. I was going through a huge Kelly Clarkson phase at the time and I remember I was belting “A Moment Like This” at the top of my lungs. Talk about ironic. All of sudden a big ol’ semi came out of nowhere so I decided to quickly but carefully change lanes, which would have been fine if there hadn’t been a patch of black ice that sent me and Burt spinning into a 360 before hitting the snow bank. Luckily I had spun to the left otherwise I would have crashed right into the semi truck. BTW, thanks God for throwing me a bone that day. Its been a real treat to go on living.<br />
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This past Monday I was all packed and ready to hit the open road but I had a feeling that I was beginning to battle a cold so I had to act fast. Over my dead body was I going to be sick on vacation. NOT TODAY ZURG!!!! NOT TODAY!!!! Thank the good Lord my parents had a stash of Airborne in my favorite flavor, key lime -- so I chugged that the whole way to Boise. Downside to that was the fact that I have the bladder of an 80-year-old man, thus I felt the urge to pee almost every half hour. As fate would have it, it quickly became apparent that Oregon and Idaho had a limited budget that allowed them to place rest areas about 50 miles apart. I’ll admit it. There were some close calls. And when I say close calls I mean my fly was down and I was reaching for my empty Wendy’s value menu cup to take care of business before my bladder exploded. At that very moment an angel appeared and placed a sign on the side of the road that read “Rest Area 2 Miles”. It was a total God thing.</div>
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This drive to Boise turned out to be quite the contrast compared to the drive of ‘05. This time the sun was shining in place of snow that my wipers could barely keep up with. If you’ve every attempted to drive up Cabbage Hill during the winter you know how bad it can get. It’s an incredibly steep incline and there are emergency exits every half-mile for semi trucks who aren’t able to stop. SCARY!! Oh and then to top it off, the whole drive up the hill you keep seeing signs for the exit called “Dead Man’s Pass”. Yeah, real comforting. What I want to know is who the hell thought that would be a good name for a highway? Who in their right mind would take it???? Another big help on this trip was my GPS. How I managed to arrive to any destination before getting this piece of technology I’ll never know. On the trip to Nampa, in place of a GPS I had about 10 pages of MapQuest instructions on how to get to Meagan’s house. They weren’t much help and I ended up getting majorly lost out on some backcountry road called Chicken Dinner Lane (I swear Idaho has the strangest street names) with the only landmark being a farm that raised Buffalo. Seriously, only in Idaho.</div>
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But despite the risk factors and ever-looming thoughts of death, road trips to Idaho have always resulted in nothing but fond memories such as:</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Watching my friend Michael get got off of a chair lift for the first time and while doing so knocking down two elderly woman. The best part was he hadn’t learned how to stop on skis so he couldn’t even get a chance to apologize. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Going to Denny’s for breakfast and being served by a lady named Peaches who looked like she had been trapped inside a tanning bed for the past 30 years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Visiting Michael’s grandparents home in Fruitvale where Heather, while in the middle of taking a tinkle, was slightly alarmed to find a dog in the bathtub staring her down.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Watching almost the entire second season of the OC with Meagan as Heather and Michael put a puzzle together. I know, I know, some people just don’t have their priorities straight.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Attempting to make virgin pina coladas during the 3 hours it took to cook lasagna that was harder than a frozen tundra. Worst idea ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span>Playing apples to apples and someone putting down Oprah, for the card <u>Blank </u> is the new Black. I nearly died laughing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This weeks trip was no exception to fond memories as I got to spend nearly 24 hours with my dear friend Jess Miller who was on her spring break from the college where she works. We painted that town of Boise red, figuratively speaking. First we caught up on life at Rembrandt’s coffee before indulging in some retail therapy at the Macy’s clearance rack. I found a sexy new black polo for my next night on the town and Jess found a cute 60’s checkered dress. Meeeeeoooow. After shopping we saw the movie Tangled for 3 bucks, which was AMAZING. We laughed. We cried. Well…… at least I cried. Jess is so much stronger than I. Let me tell ya, there’s nothing like a Disney Princess in distress to turn on the ol’ waterworks. After that we grabbed dessert with our old friends Meagan and her husband Levi before taking in some local “night life”, if you could call it that, in downtown Boise. The night ended with us indulging in the guilty pleasure known as the season finale to “The Bachelor”. SO MUCH DRAMA. SO MUCH WATER PROOF MASQUERA. I was eating it up with a spoon.<o:p></o:p></div>Robhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06482669357644079420noreply@blogger.com2